Ultimate Spider-Man Male Reader Inset X MCU

Chapter 70: Spider-Ham

(Outskirts of New York. January, 2016. Earth-91)

Y/N's P.O.V

As I come out of the other side of the wormhole I start falling through the sky and as I do I see three crows come over to me.

Crow: Whoa! Would you look at that? Hi there stranger.

I wave at them.

Y/N: Hi there talking crows.

My eyes widen as I realise what just happened.

Y/N: Uhhh, okay. Crows talking? I'm definitely not back home yet.

After falling for another fee seconds land down into some sort of mud bath.

I then feel myself get pulled out.

???: Ah, never fails. I'm all set to take a nice wallow and some vermin falls in the pool.

I get dropped on the ground and I look up to see a pig standing there.

Y/N: Wait, you're a pig.

Pig: Very perceptive. And what are you under that mask? A monkey?

He starts laughing at this.

Pig: Cause only a monkey would war a costume that stupid.

I shake my head and stand up.

Y/N: Speaking of costumes, you ever see anyone around here with spider-like powers?

Pig: No, I haven't. Now, if you'll excuse me. This piggie is getting roasted.

Y/N: Hey, I'm seriously. This world's spider is in real danger. I have to warn him that a bag guy's coming for both of us.

Pig: You're wasting your time Spider-Monkey. The guy you think you're looking for doesn't exist anymore.

I sigh and web zip away.

I then start looking around from a vantage point and I see the spider of the earth standing in the field nearby.

When I get to him I see that it's just a spider-scarecrow, I also realise that the costume was designed to fit a pig.

Pig: Okay, you've found me out.

I turn to see the pig from before.

Pig: The name's Porker. Peter Porker. A.k.a Spider-Ham.

I drop down from the fence.

Y/N: That makes sense. Let me guess, you got your powers from a radioactive spider bite.

Peter: A spider bite yes, radioactive no.

Porker then tells me the story on how he got bite by the spider that gave him his powers.

He then tells me that he gave up being Spider-Ham because everyone believed that he was a failure and he started to believe it too.

Y/N: So that's it? You just quit?

Peter: Haven't you ever felt like a failure?

Y/N: Sure. I've walked a mile in your hooves. But I don't give up because I know people depend on me. They need a hero to save them when things get bad. And trust me Hambone, things are about to get real bad.

I hand him back his suit.

Y/N: There's a monster called the Green Goblin and he's looking for you. Could you maybe try and help me stop him?

Before Porker could reply I feel my spider sense go off.

I then look up to see Goblin coming in on his glider.

Goblin: It'll take more than one little piggy to save you.

He throws a grenade at us which hits us and knocks us both away.

He looks for Porker but I shoot webs at Goblin's back. He then turns to face me.

Y/N: There's no spider on this world Gobby.

I then swing away and Goblin comes after me so he can kill me.

As he comes after me I manage to throw him into the ground and off his glider.

When I go back down he get back on his glider and I go to attack him again, but he knocks me away and into a wall.

Goblin then comes towards me.

Goblin: Time to die little spider.

???: Hands off the Monkey big bad!

I look over and see Peter swing in as Spider-Ham.

He kicks Goblin away and into the barn.

Porker then uses his webs to pull me back to my feet and I join him up top.

Y/N: I thought you were afraid of being a failure?

Peter: Even I never lost a fight to a nut with an anvil. If you can take humiliation like that. What am I worried about?

We both look down to see Goblin getting back up.

Peter: Ready Spider-Monkey?

Y/N: Right with you Spider-Ham!

Peter and I then dive down and land punch on Goblin's face, then we spin round and kick him in the chest.

After that I pick him up and throw him in the mud pool.

Spider-Ham then pulls him out with his webs.

Once Goblin's close enough he activates his drone.

Y/N: Peter! Watch out!

But it was too late. The drone got Peter from behind and took his DNA.

Goblin: Ah, that'll do.

He then knocks both of us away and jumps on his glider.

When I look up I see Goblin fly into a new wormhole.

We both stand up.

???: Spider-Ham!

We look up and see an Iron-Mouse fly down infront of us.

Y/N: Iron-Mouse?

Iron-Mouse: That was the Green monster who was asking about you in town. You need a hand?

Peter: Nah. My pal and I took care of him.

Y/N: Please, you were the one who saved my bacon. No offence.

Iron-Mouse: Does this mean you're ready go re-join the Avengers?

He looks to me and then back to Iron-Mouse and nods.

Peter: Yeah, I'm back and ready for action.

Iron-Mouse: Great. Welcome back Spider-Ham.

The two look to me.

Peter: Thanks Spider-Monkey.

I smile.

Y/N: Anytime Hammy.

After that I web zip away and go through the portal after Goblin once again.