Texting 21: 🎶 I Put Dick Inside Her Spleen 🎶

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Connie: And apparently I picked up an $8000 organ someone had dumped on the street

(F/N): I don't get that. It's such a beautiful instrument

Connie: Instrument?

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(F/N): The plane's taking off

Armin: Be safe

(F/N): You say that like I have a choice. I have no say in my life anymore

(F/N): Whatever happens, happens

Armin: Your negative thoughts play a role

(F/N): See you, Space Cowboy

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Hanji: What are we supposed to do about the polar icecaps melting!?

(F/N): Kick em under the fridge

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(F/N): Bruno Mars 'Runaway Baby' is kinda ominous without context

Eren: what did you do?

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(F/N): I'm a hexagon

(F/N): All my hecks are gone

Jean: I was expecting something more vulgar I'm not gonna lie

(F/N): I'm a fuckagon

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(F/N): Can you settle a bet for us?

Eren: sure. Whats up?

(F/N): Armin and I are fighting. I say that rap is modern day poetry

Armin: NO IT'S NOT!!!

(F/N): YES IT IS!

Eren: alright. Alright. Let's settle this. One of you will recite the most beautiful piece of writing you know and then other one will

Eren: armin you first

Armin: Okay

Armin: When love speaks, the voice of all gods makes heaven drowsy with harmony - Shakespeare

Eren: ok. Now (F/N)

(F/N): If she want, I put dick inside her spleen - Ricegum

Armin: I WILL END YOU!

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Connie: What's the secret to picking up girls?

(F/N): Over your shoulder

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Reiner: Gay may not be a sin but pride is so when you put it that way

(F/N): Is this self hatred?

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Annie: What did you say? I was too busy thinking about kissing you

(F/N): As I was saying, Marco died

Annie: oh no sad

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(F/N): why don't asian people speak asian?

Armin: Wtf? Why don't white people speak white then?

(F/N): Sorry. Do you have anything non-dairy? How about anything gluten free?

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