Chapter seventy-three

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Rhislett's POV

I dunno how to feel. I wanna forgive her and I have but I still feel the same way. Like I don't mean anything to her. That I don't to any of them. I just couldn't do the happy family dinner. Not after I had a breakdown 5 minutes ago. So I excused myself and left. I got upstairs to the guest room and I just felt so hot. Like the room was closing in on me. So I went and opened a window and stuck my head out. And then I heard a knock. " little one I just-" and then I heard hurried footsteps and a hand on my back. " it's okay just breath rhisey it's okay" and I didn't even realise I was struggling to breathe until then. We stood like that for two minutes and then I turned and slid down the wall so I was sat against it on the floor. Lizzie followed me down and sat next to me. She took my hand and sighed. " how did it go?" And I gave a small laugh. I couldn't help it and I said " I know she's sorry. I do. And she told me that I was her world and that she loves me more then anything. She even said that I was different to Harry and rose but not in the way I thought, that she was attached to me more but she never wanted them too feel that. And that she just ended up making me feel like I was nothing to her instead. I tried to see if she was lying but she just had pure honesty in her eyes Lizzie. That's what scares me. What if she does it again. What if after today it goes back to how it was and nothing changed" and Lizzie nodded along " you don't. You don't and I know this is a lot to ask but all you can do is trust her to be you're mother. I know she can be and all those things she told you were true. She's told me about the Harry and rose thing she always felt guilty. But I saw her smile when she thought of you. She looks at you like you hold her world. And you do, you hold her world but she didn't show you that. And she let you down. But all you can do is trust her." And I nodded that's what I'm afraid off " I told her how I was feeling about that but it's not everything Lizzie." I started to play with my rings "I think you know but I wanted to tell her first before I told you and I still do. Because she's my mum but I dunno if I can trust her with my childhood." And Lizzie nodded again " I know little one I can't imagine how hard it is for you. But don't feel pressured to tell me okay. You're mum loves you and she'll be there for you But do that in your own time when it's right for you" and I smiled and nodded. Lizzie knew exactly what to say " now come on I'm hungry" and she got up and offered me a hand. I got up and giggled. We got downstairs and no one had eaten yet but they were in a deep conversation but as soon as we came in they changed it. " hey what were you guys taking about?" Lizzie asked taking her seat while I took mine next to Scarlett. She took my hand a squeezed it. We all sat after to eat and honestly it was amazing. We had vegan pasta which was chefs kiss. Susan had grown all her veg herself which explained why it was so fresh. The adults were talking about gardening while I got a text. It was the group chat. Isaac had texted and we all went in our phones he wrote ' okay old people are distracted I just wanna let you guys know I'm thinking about what we should do for you're birthdays seeing as we can't throw our yearly partys' and I wrote ' yes well I'd love to get drunk but I think every adult at this table would kill us scarlett being the leader' and Harrison wrote ' I agree with frogger but we can do something the four of us start new traditions' and Peter wrote ' yes we can we just gotta think of some😚' and Isaac thought he was funny writing ' wow so much work for this birthday. And Rhislett still is mean😩' and I wrote ' suck it up buttercup you knew what I was like😉' and then I heard a "you four are texting each other!" Which was Chris who had looked at isaacs phone. And Scarlett looked at mine and laughed until she said  " oh" and I went wide eyed realising what she had read. It wasn't on the chat it was on all my chats. So I covered my phone and the boys did the same. " ermmm you didn't see anything" and Scarlett shook her head " I didn't see anything" she said that with a smirk so I knew she had. Gosh darn it mum. " wait I wanna know" Robert whined and I laughed. Scarlett had this look of realisation and I was just thinking what she had realised. I just didn't say anything and went on with dinner.

We had to leave early because Chris had a meeting in the morning. We ended up dropping Lizzie of at home and then Chris spoke " you wanna stay at mine or you're own house scar" and she looked back at us and then smiled " can I stay at your house please" and he smiled wide " yep don't worry" and she smiled.

We got home and Chris took Scarlett's bag into her room. I went upstairs to get changed into my pjs. LA was hot so I had shorts and a tight shirt on. I couldn't sleep with loads of layers. I went into Harrison's room and jumped onto his bed. " how did that talk go frogger?" And I smiled " went well she apologised and I could tell she meant it. I may have had a mini breakdown but it's fine I guess telling her how I felt helped." And he laughed " ofcourse it  did you two are shit communicators." And I raised many eyebrow " am not!" And he smiled " are so you child!" And I scoffed " okay for that I'm leaving and going to my own room" and I walked out of the room. I didn't wanna sleep on my own that's why I went in there but now I didn't have a choice. For fuck sake I just climbed into bed and went on my phone. Chris came in and said goodnight. He said Scarlett had already fallen asleep which was understandable she did just get here. I was partially disappointed she hadn't said goodnight. I couldn't sleep though no matter how tired I was. "Rhisey?" I heard a voice say while my door opened my I looked up from my phone and saw Scarlett walking towards my bed. She's didn't even say anything she just got into my bed and laid down. " I thought you were asleep?" I said but she shook her head " no I was getting ready for bed. I couldn't  go sleep without saying goodnight to you. And well I don't think I can sleep tonight till Full stop." And I asked why and she gave me a small smile " I don't think I could sleep without you next to me tonight. Not after these past few days. I'm exhausted but I couldn't sleep without my rhisey cuddles." And I shuffled closer to her and she put her arms around me and pulled me even closer. " I love you're cuddles sweet girl." And I smiled against her " you're cuddly momma" and I just yawned against her. She pulled back to kiss my forehead and started to play with my hair. " go sleep baby I'm here I promise." And I nodded and closed my eyes. The comforting lavender smell taking over my senses. I definitely needed this sleep. Yesterday wasn't the best sleep for me but I knew I could sleep in my mums arms. And I think she needed this just as much as me. She just held onto me tighter and I drifted off. My mum just played with my hair and held me close. This is safe.

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Hi okay I gave a little bit of fluff for you guys here at the end.

Sooooo

Emended to drink water
And to give you're  eyes a break
My messages are always open x



Till the next chapter my loves ❣️

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