Where I Wanna Be

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Suzette

"Mama, do you need some water or something?" Saniya asked, sounding worried.

"I'm fine baby girl, I'm fine." She fanned me with my church fan as we sat on the pulpit waiting for my husband to finish talking with a guest minister. I was honestly more tired than I was trying to let on.

Between how long Cortez and I stayed up talking last night and the long day at church I'd had and then what Sammy and I got into yesterday, I was wore out.

"Nana's just sleepy. Mama I'm sleepy too. Can we take a nap with Nana when we get home?" I laughed. Zaya is just too cute. If my fruitful season wasn't over, that little girl would have definitely struck me with baby fever.

"Oh no, ma'am. You gone stay up, get you some dinner, and go to bed on time. I don't want to hear all that whining when it's time to wake up tomorrow," Shayne explained. "But Mama, I wanna sleep with Nana," Zaya whined. I held my finger to my lips mouthing 'shhhh' and winked at her. She shut right on up and smiled knowing I'd steal her away to take a nap with me later.

"You ready, dear?" Cortez held on to my hand and I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I am. What you want to eat?" He sat beside me. "Where you wanna go? You don't look so good." He felt my cheek like he was trying to see if I was warm. "I'm fine y'all, for real. Just a lil tired. You don't want me to cook dinner?" I asked.

Cortez shook his head, declining my offer. "Naw you need to relax for a lil while. You want steak? We can go to Escarnichi's."

"Whatever y'all decide on." I shrugged.

"Let's go there Daddy," Shayne chimed in and Cortez stood to his feet with his hand out to help me up.

"Thank you." Along the way Cortez was standing back to open doors for me and holding me by the hand. I couldn't say I was particularly dazzled by his behavior though. It was typical of Cortez to resort to his old chivalrous ways whenever he wanted to prove a point to me.

"Can I go with Nana?" Zaya asked as we reached our cars in the parking lot. "Naw go with your Mama today baby. And you too Saniya," I insisted.

"But Nana I thought you said I was your baby?" Zaya asked with her face pinched up and I laughed.

"Why you try'na put my grandbaby out my car?" Cortez laughed. "Tell Nana I'm yo road dawg pop pop!" Zaya giggled. "Her isss," Cortez said, talking like me as he picked her up and kissed her cheek.

"It's fine. She can ride with us, baby. Saniya you might wanna keep your sister company though. Hold her and I'll get the car seat." Cortez put the baby on my hip and went to get Zaya's car seat from Shayne's car. "Burgbh—," Saniya almost gagged.

"Oh my God is you okay? What's wrong witchu?" I put my hand on my daughter's back as she held her fist to her mouth.

"Y'all actin' like y'all d— doin' it. Brgh—." I laughed while punching her shoulder. "Chu know bout doin' it?" I asked with a single raised brow and my daughter gasped. "Ion't know nothin' bout that," she answered quickly. "That's what I thought," I responded as my husband approached. "Y'all get in the car," Cortez secured Zaya's car seat in the back of the truck before strapping Zaya in as me and Saniya got in. When Cortez got in and pulled out of the lot he reached across the console to hold my hand. At a red light he turned my face towards him and pecked my lips. The corners of my lips turned up but not too much because to be frankly honest that little kiss didn't have the spark enough to light a candle.

All night long Cortez was trying to be my knight in shining armor. But it was like his old iron suit just ain't glisten no more. I knew he was just the same old man with the same old game.

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