Sweet Thang [COMPLETE]

Make Me Say It Again Girl

Suzette

"Whew!" I exhaled while walking through my front door and closing it behind me slowly and quietly. Just as I took another deep breath to shake away my nerves my phone went off and I fished it out of my purse to see Dawny texting me and asking me about that damn trip again.

"Suzette, is that you?" Cortez called out from what sounded like his office and I rolled my eyes to Heaven as I threw my phone into my bag. "Yeah, Cortez it's me. I was just about to come see you, I need to use the restroom first though!" I said while kicking my heels off as he responded, "Alright Susie, take your time."

Without even thinking about it I dashed up the stairs as fast as I could before running to my vanity room and closing the door behind myself. I was winded and tired once I made it there and a little dizzy feeling too.

After flicking on the fan I flopped down into my seat at my vanity and placed my purse on the stool beside me and took in what I saw in the mirror. I cannot believe how much time has passed. How much time I've spent unhappy in this damn house... how many times I locked myself in this room to escape my husband when no matter what I said or did or how many times I apologized he still couldn't seem to pull himself together. My hands traveled over the few present worry lines in my skin that made me wonder if they'd still be there had I chosen a completely different life. My ring caught my eye and my hand flew away from my face and I looked at it, watching it glimmer every time it caught light.

"Everything I do I do it for you. And everything I have I want to be yours too," I whispered a line or two from the poem Cortez recited the night he proposed to me and bit my lip because I simply did not feel like crying.

Disappointed in what our marriage had become, I shook away any discouraged thoughts trying to creep up on me before reaching into my big Louis and pulling out the Manila folder I stashed in there as I sat in the driveway just a few minutes ago. I opened it and pulled out the stack of legal documents before flipping to the last page and staring at where I was supposed to sign. I grabbed a pen and took a few deep breaths as I crossed my legs. This ain't the first time I've done this... But Lord, I sure hope it's the last, I thought before kissing the ink pen and signing my name on the dotted line and leaving it undated. I looked up at myself in the looking glass and took a deep deep sigh of relief as I slid the papers back into their home in that folder before stuffing it into the drawer of my vanity beneath some of my makeup.

Briefly, I got myself together before going downstairs to talk to Cortez like I said I would.

"Bishop," I popped my head into my husband's home office and Cortez looked up at me over the rim of his glasses. "Yes?" I realized it looked like he was studying his sermon. "I'm sorry I ain't mean to bother you... I'll just catch you later." I started to walk away but he called me back. "Suzette, come in here woman."

"Yeah?" I asked as I stood in the doorway.

"Come here woman," he welcomed me and sat back with a reserved smile on his lips and his hands folded in his lap. I walked further into the room and stood by his desk. He pulled me into his lap and I stiffened up like a board. I felt bad, knowing that just the thought of Cortez's hands on my body sometimes made my skin crawl. But that feeling had honestly become a naturally occurring reflex.