Be Happy

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Shayne

"Sweetie Pie," I pinched my eyebrows at the sound of Mama calling my father's nickname for me. I turned around to see her coming in my room cracking some pop and passing me one. "You a lil too sweet on my Daddy. I'ma need you to pipe down Miss Girl," I told Mama and she laughed while shaking her head and sitting on my bed. "Well I just... wanted to come and see you. I heard you talking to your Daddy about going home in a couple days."

I gasped. "You heard that Mama?"

"Yeah I heard. Why didn't you tell me you were ready to go baby?"

"How was I supposed to tell you that Mama? You practically begged me not to go back to work a couple weeks ago," I reminded Mama as she tried to hide the tears that were sitting at the brim of her eyes.

"Mamaaaaaa," I poked out my bottom lip as I laid her head on my shoulder. "Why are you crying Miss Girl?"

"I just... I want you to be okay."

"I will be okay Mama... I will be."

"How I'm posed to know that forty-five minutes away, Shayne?!" Mama sat up to look me in the eye and I took a deep breath as I squeezed her hand.

"Try to trust me, maybe," I suggested with a gentle shrug. Mama kissed the back of my hand. "I do trust you, Shayne," she stated. "Do you really?" I asked and she nodded while looking me in the eye. "I do Sweetie. I trust you, I do."

"Then why are you so nervous about letting me go home?"

"Cuz I'm yo Mama," she said simply and I chuckled while nodding, "Fair enough."

"Can I hold you for a minute Sweetie?"

I just scooted over and into my Mama's arms and she laid my head on her chest before kissing it. She didn't say anything... I didn't even hear her sniffle or cry. She just wanted to hold me. So I let her. After a minute or so I started getting bored... so I figured if I was gonna let my Mama hold me for old time sake— she might as well be useful.

I looked up at her and she just laughed. "What you want?"

"Blessed Assurance!" I said while crossing my arms under my chest and Mama laughed so hard all I could do was gasp. "You want me to sing to you, Sweet Baby? I'll sing to you." Mama kissed my hair before she started to sing the old hymn and I laid there feeling like a small child in her arms. As much as I felt like I should have been nervous about going home and trying to tackle life and motherhood and love all by myself— I wasn't.

In my Mama's arms I felt— sure.

"You not gone sing it with me like you used to? Come on," Mama took both of my wrists to make me clap my hands and sing with her but I couldn't help but to laugh as she went on. "Praising my savioooorrrrr.... Praising my saviooooorrrrr... Praising my saaaviooorrrrrr," she kept going like she had the will to keep it up until I actually joined her. So I did, "Praising my saviooorrrr... All the day long," I rolled my eyes on the sly as Mama squeezed me.

"I know... we brought you here to give you a break and get you better. But thank you Shayne."

I rolled out of my moms arms to lay on my stomach and just look up at her. "Why are you thanking me, Mama?"

She shook her head slowly while taking a deep breath. "After finding out about your Daddy the way that you did... I wasn't sure that I could expect you to really warm up to this new picture of family we paintin'. But you are. And it's so beautiful to watch. After... everything... I took a moment to sit and think back to the last time I'd even heard you laugh at one of... Cortez jokes. And I couldn't even remember that. I didn't realize how much I believed that I was the only one suffering in that house until I finally had the chance to step out and away," Mama lept into tears she was trying to wipe away as they fell. "And now I get to watch your real dad love you and I get to watch you love him right back. And... I just... thank you... for always being my Sweet Baby."

I just smiled softly as I propped my chin in my hand. "I'll always be your Sweet Baby, Mama," I reminded her.

"Good, now look me in my eye Sweet Baby," Mama sat up to hold my chin still and put on her 'you bet not fuck around' face.

"Are you sure... you ready to go home?"

"Yes ma'am."

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