City Undertaker || Bang Chan Mafia AU

64: Stack it Up

Bedbound for a whole week, Lex felt nothing but anger. She was so damn sick of it, being on the cusp of death one too many times. Her joints ached with movement, even breathing still hurt. Her right leg was in some sort of brace after the car had rammed into it and the shoulder she landed on was braced too. So much twisted in her mind. How did Chan do it? Juggling his life, work and the safety of his members. Now on top of all of that, her. How could his mental health handle it?

When she was alone, she only could think back to when she narrowly escaped death. The memory of being thrown off the dock became more vivid each time she thought about it. What she had pushed back resurfaced, unlike she did when she was sinking to the bottom of the lake. She could remember how cold the water was as it engulfed her and filled her lungs.

Then there was the unforgettable night in Kobe. Blades slashing and blood spraying. The scars she held were a constant reminder of what went down. Chan had saved her. She hadn't appreciated it as she was wrapped up in what she had done. He could only see that she saved him. But they had saved each other.

People visited her. But she wanted to be left alone. Her thoughts weren't comforting but she didn't want to think about what to say to anyone. Even Chan and Minho. Speaking her mind was a struggle, her thoughts jumbled. She had thanked Minho, genuinely appreciative that saved her, even if some small part of her wished he hadn't.

Chan was the only person who stayed in the medic room with her. He helped her to the bathroom and back. She didn't want anyone else and she certainly did not want to see Lisa. Maybe she shouldn't have lashed out, but she would be lying if she said she felt an ounce of guilt. She didn't even get the chance to give her half of what she deserved. Was it selfish to blame Lisa for her accident?

"Do you want food?" Chan offered, kneeling beside her bed and rubbing her arm. He had been more than accommodating to her. No matter how hard she wanted to push others away, she found she couldn't do the same to Chan. She needed him.

"Yes, please." Lex mustered up a small smile. She probably didn't look the best right now but Chan still returned her smile genuinely and kissed her on the cheek before getting up to leave the room.

In truth, she wasn't hungry and wanted a moment alone to think in private. She couldn't remember the night clearly, when she had returned to their faction. But she knew it was rage that gave her a burst of energy. She rolled over to her side. If Chan hadn't stopped her, she might've done something she regretted. She sighed. A malicious part of her still wished she had. What a mess. She would kill for one night in Tokyo with Chan again.

Felix shuffled into the room, his phone held horizontally in his hands. He gave her a hopeful look. "Wanna play Genshin?"

Lex wanted to, wishing she had the incentive to play it with him. But she had no motivation, she was mentally exhausted. She could hardly focus on her own thoughts let alone navigate a game. Maybe that was the concussion the medic told her about. On top of that, she wanted to be alone longer.

Lex shook her head, throwing her arm over her eyes and sighing. "No thanks."

"There's a new event," He said cheerily, hoping to convince her.

"I don't feel like it." She declined a little firmer. The only person she wanted was still Chan. Minho had understood but couldn't help but feel a little hurt. Although after hearing about her state from Chan, he was able to empathise more.

"Are you sure?" Felix tried once more. He missed her and really wanted to spend time with her. Unfortunately, his poor spirits were about to be shattered.

Lex sat up abruptly, unable to contain her sudden annoyance. "I said no, Felix! How many fucking times do you want me to say it?"

Felix was stunned, his face dropping as he blinked furiously. Without a word, he averted his gaze to the ground and walked out, closing the door gently behind him. Lex huffed and fell back onto the bed, struggling to find a comfortable spot again. If she hadn't been disrupted, that position she had wouldn't be paining her. Her sudden movement also made her head spin.