City Undertaker || Bang Chan Mafia AU

84: Stay With Me

Lex dragged her fingers along the banister as she took care with each step up the staircase. The house was in no way as grand as HQ, but she liked it better. It was cozy and made her feel at home despite what she was dreading to do. Her heart began thrumming against her chest as she reached the top and scanned each of the doors she saw. Jisung had said it was the first one to her left. The other doors intimidated her, she didn't want to prematurely meet any of them before Chan. Somebody was going to be mad at her either way.

Jisung had been kind, but there was no doubt it wasn't going to be shared by the others. Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach churned as she approached the correct door. The urge to turn around and leave rose up in her, but she violently pushed it down. She needed to be brave. This is what she wanted and she wasn't going to throw it away.

Chewing on her lip, Lex raised her hand and knocked lightly on the door. There was no response. Maybe he hadn't heard it. She rapt her fist on the door a little louder. Lex heard approaching footsteps from the other side, but it didn't open immediately. She was afraid to speak up, in case he refused to open the door.

Then slowly, the door opened a crack, before it was pulled wide enough to reveal half of Chris' body. His eyes widened as he let out a deep breath. The door swung open fully as he scanned her top to bottom, still not saying anything. They observed each other silently, it had been one gruelling month apart.

"Hey, Chris," Lex said softly, not being able to take the silence. Seeing him again stirred something inside of her. All she wanted to do was reach out to him. His hair was back to black, dark circles became more prominent under his exhausted eyes. She didn't know what he was feeling, what he wanted to say. But as she looked him in the eye, she noticed they started to water, and his lip was wobbling. She stepped closer to him.

"Chris-" At the sound of his name being repeated, he started to sob and pulled her into a tight hug. In an instant, she had her arms wrapped back around him, tears filling her eyes. Hearing him cry made her feel much more guilty about leaving. Seeing how vulnerable he was while he bawled into her shoulder.

"Where were you? Where were you?" Chris wept, clenching the back of her shirt. Lex bit on her lip to hold back the sob as she held his chin to make him look at her. His eyes were red and he looked depleted.

"Chris, I'm so sorry," Lex whispered, biting her lip. She tentatively cupped his cheek and delicately wiped away some tears. He closed his eyes as he leaned into, the tears still streaming down his face. His arms were held loosely around her waist but still held her close. But he still didn't say anything. Lex gently pulled his face closer so their foreheads were touching. He sniffled but tried to suppress them, placing his hand behind her neck.

Being so close to him made her feel warm inside, even as Chan was hurting in front of her. She stroked his cheek and tried to calm him down, though tears were now streaming down her cheeks. She missed him so much. When she believed she could carry on without them, she realised she was fooling herself. These were the people she wanted to surround herself with for the rest of her life.

"I... I love you," Chris managed to choke out. Hearing that made Lex smile, lifting the weight that she had been carrying since she left. If this wasn't the end, she was grateful. He managed to stop sniffling but a few tears occasionally slipped from his eyes.

"I love you too... So much." Lex nuzzled at his nose with hers, craving his touch. "And I'm so so sorry, Chris. I just couldn't handle it"

"We could've gotten through it together," Chris hiccuped, setting himself off through a rack of sobs. The utter betrayal of waking up and finding her missing again was a recurring nightmare.

Lex softly grabbed him by the upper arm and led him to his bed. She climbed onto it and tugged him on with her. Shuffling up closer to the top, she nestled himself into a pillow and pulled him to lay on her shoulder. He gratefully obliged and tucked himself into the space between her torso and shoulder, resting a hand on her stomach. It was like a blanket of tranquillity had been tossed over them.