Everlasting 2 (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Times Don't Change

I loved your eyes, as eyes, but I also loved them as pupils, as irises, as scleras. I loved your mouth, as a mouth, but I also loved it as the upper lip, the bottom lip, the teeth, the tongue. I loved you, as you, but I also loved every little piece of you individually, for it made you; they made the person whom I loved. I loved you in more than one life. I loved you in our life, I loved you in every other universe, and every other life. I loved in a way that was more than love. 

I had you within my grasp. Did it make me reckless? Did it make me foolish? Did I let you slip from my grasp? Was it my fault? As I watched you drift from my life, drift away from me, turn away from me and turn towards the other direction, as though I was not behind you. You once cared about me too, in the way I cared about you. Our love outgrew the word love. We were both so in love with each other. 

When did it change? Where was the line between loving me, and forgetting my existence? I would not know, for I never crossed it. As I sit, I still yearn; I still miss, and I still love. I still love you. But you do not love me; you love her. You love her eyes, as eyes, but you also love them as pupils, as irises, as scleras. You love her mouth, as a mouth, but you also love it as the upper lip, the bottom lip, the teeth, the tongue. You love her, as her, but you also love every little piece of her individually, for it makes her; the person whom you love. 

You shot up from your bed, in terror, sweating, yet shivering. The window had been left open; you could feel its breeze. It was not quite reassuring; not with the sound of the rain droplets, upon the pane, upon the window sill, as it softly tapped inside the dorm room, leaving wet stains around the window, on the wooden floors. 

Your bare feet felt cold against the wooden planks as you placed them down. You could feel the sharp texture of the wood piercing the soles of your feet - in some way, it was pleasant. It was one of those feelings that reminded you that you were present, alive, in this moment; not in the one that you dreamt. Not in that universe - this universe. I loved you in more than one life. The breeze seemed colder at the thought. 

You stood from your bed, heading over to the window, before closing it, defeating the sound of the rain droplets. You now stood in the rain that had poured through into the dorm room; it was cold, just like the wooden planks, but mesmerising, in a way. And, looking up towards the window, you discovered the moon peeking through the clouds, wishing to show itself to you. 

You look miserable, it told you, through the clouds gently. 

You constructed no response, only feeling the sudden desire to sit with the moon increase further and further, until, even forgetting your slippers, you dashed out of the dorm room, through the Slytherin common room, and straight up the stairs, ascending upwards into the main halls of Hogwarts. The dungeons were no place to sit and speak with the moon. There were better places in this world; more innocent places, ones which did not shed so many disastrous memories. 

The stone was colder than the wood. There was no fireplace in these halls either, meaning the cold has spread through upwards into your legs, up into your hips, your torso, your chest, your shoulders, and you could feel it pound in your head. It was cold, and the outside was cold too. The rain continued to tap against the panes of all the Hogwarts windows, and you could see the droplets racing, when you paused, when you delighted yourself in the moment of rain, of nature, of being. They raced down, and you could pick up on multiple races at once, watching them fall together, only for more droplets to come. And they, too, raced, like those prior to them. The rain gave more, and more, and more. And you, a mere child, were amused, to gaze at the droplets racing down, to gaze at the marks they left behind, mimicking that of tears. They looked like tears of yours, of Draco's, of Harry's, of Ginny's, of Hermione's; they looked like the tears of a human, of a beloved, of an enemy; all tears looked the same.