I'm not okay

Chapter twelve

They can never know.

They can't.

————

I'm currently sitting in Flower his office.

While he is working, I am sitting on the couch watching videos on an app called YouTube with AirPods in my ear.

It took some time figuring out how an IPad works, luckily Flower helped me with that.

I'm still feeling pretty anxious about the rules though.

Every step I take, every breath I take, I worry about doing something wrong.

I worry that I'm possibly breaking a rule.

That I would or will get punished if I do this or do that.

I don't ask for anything, I only take or say yes to things so that I know I'm not breaking a rule.

I only eat when it's given to me

I only drink when it's given to me

I only watch TV when people suggest it

I only play or watch videos on the IPad if it's given to me.

I make sure I'm not doing anything wrong.

I make sure that I'm not sitting on things I can't sit on.

I am either placed on it or told I could sit there if I wanted.

It's driving me crazy.

The suspense of hearing these new rules is killing me.

I look up from my screen to see Flower at his desk writing on some papers.

What if he's writing down the rules for me?

That would be great.

Flower glances over at me from time to time to make sure I am okay.

He's doing it very discreetly but I see and notice everything.

Every little detail.

Like how there are guards everywhere even in this office and at the plane and while driving there were cars with guards following us.

And Dominic has a gun.

I saw it the second we met.

In the back of his jeans at his waistband, there it was hidden.

He tried to cover it with his clothes but I still saw it.

I haven't asked him about it yet and I'm not sure I am going to.

Probably not.

Carlo had a gun.

He has shot me with it a few times, I have the scars to prove it.

So I'm not asking Flower about it either.

It's too dangerous.