Chapter 4: I Still Get Jealous

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The Next Day

Theresia's POV

After Anton's visit yesterday, hindi pa rin kami nag-uusap ni Leonor. She chose to sleep in the guest room last night and kept claiming that she needed to be alone in order to focus, but that was not the truth.

Only the wind responded when I spoke to her. Leonor had barely said around 50 words to me from that visit 'til now. Nakakaramdam na ako na hindi na niya ako papayagang magpapunta ulit dito.

Leonor is really possessive. Talagang mabilis din siyang magselos. Although I try not to give her a reason to, mahirap kasi marami talaga akong nakakausap na tao.

Now, namimiss ko na siya. I miss her voice, her hug, her kisses, all that. I woke up lonely today because she wasn't beside me. Also, yesterday was my fault too. Sana I did my best to help her catch up kaso wala talaga eh. It also made me feel worse because I didn't even try to help her.

Even though she's just next door, I feel so distanced from her which makes me lonelier as I stay in this bed without longer.

I decided na bumaba na lang muna. In great timing, she was there in the counters having her breakfast. I kept my head low as I walked towards the fridge which was in front of her. Talagang parang wala ako dito.

She's so focused on her laptop and as I stared longer at her, her typing went faster and intense. Nagmamadali ba 'to? Her keyboard's clicking sounds went loud.

Sinadya kong magpabalik-balik sa tapat niya, pero talagang wala. Kahit man lang tignan niya ako, wala. I was more saddened by the way she acts now. I know my wife and she hates the feeling of getting left behind, which I clearly just let her experience yesterday.

After grabbing my breakfast, I went back upstairs instead. I feel more guilty kapag nakikita ko siya. I'll let her ease out first bago ko kulitin. Baka mamaya, wala na akong titirahan.

I saw her iPad in our room. Iniwan niya pala. I opened it to check the battery, baka lowbat na. Turns out, naka-open calendar niya. I saw her schedule for yesterday opened and oh my goodness.

Ang dami niya palang agendas kahapon.

I just stood still and held the iPad while the realization sunk in. I felt more badly about what happened yesterday. She had to skip many appointed meetings because of what I asked for.

Oh, Leonor...

I'm really sorry. I should've known.

-----

"Pangga..." I knocked at her door. She didn't respond. "Pangga." I said louder. Still, silence.

"Pangga! Open the door! or else dito ako magwawala, sige ka! Hindi ako titigil kakasalita dito until you open this door and allow me to talk to you!" I shouted while knocking real hard. "Hindi talaga ako titigil! Bahala ka mairita dyan! Open this door na!"

"If you don't open this door, hindi na talaga kita kakausapin ever!" I said. Suddenly, it came to my mind what if di niya talaga buksan. Ako lang ang maiipit sa guilt na nararamdaman ko.

Damn it.

"Pangga! Open u-" I almost hit her as I knocked because she opened the door already. Her eyes looked directly into my soul. Oh my Lord. I inhaled, "Binuksan mo na... Binuksan- Can I talk to you now, please?" I told her and she just stared at me.

"Uh- hello? Asawa? Hellooo?" I made random movements to snap her out. She walked back in the room and kept the door open. Pumasok na lang ako to follow her.

She sat on the chair there and placed her laptop on her lap. "Ga..." I said, softly. She just looked at me and raised an eyebrow. Without even a second, she looked back to the screen and I lost her attention again.

"Love... I'm really sorry na," I said, tapping her hands. "Namimiss na kita.." I added to my words. Hindi ako sanay nang di niya pinapansin dahil ako lang naman gumagawa sa kanya ng ganto pag nag-aaway kami. It hits different pala kapag siya na yung gumawa.

I started to sob already. Feeling ko lang wala na talaga siyang pake sa akin. I sniffled and she turned her head first before her eyes followed.

Leonor placed her laptop on the coffee table beside her and that's when she crossed her arms then looked at me. I quickly wiped my tears away as I noticed her attention's at me already.

"Bakit ka umiiyak?" she asked in a very cold tone.

"I hate this."

"Hate what?"

"I hate it that we act like strangers. We live under the same roof, pero parang wala kang ibang nakikita," I started ugly crying.

I kept wiping my eyes and nose considering that she might think I'm overreacting and had the audacity to cry when she was the one who felt disregarded yesterday.

"Namimiss na kita! Feeling ko ako lang mag-isa nakatira dito. What's worst is that I see you, pero hindi kita malapitan. Knowing it's my fault too just adds up to the weight of it." I added. She scooted her chair closer to me and handed me the tissue box.

"Tapos ngayon, ito ako. Umiiyak na naman kahit hindi ako dapat yung ganto." I said. "Kakaiyak ko, ang pangit ko na tu-"

She kissed me.

My eyes widened as she lets go. "W-what?"

"We might not be okay right now, pero mas lalong hindi okay sa akin na tatawagin mong pangit ang sarili mo."

She then smiled at me. I jumped into her arms and on her lap making her groan. I gave her several kisses all over her face and a long one on her lips. "I missed youuu!" I said too.

"Namimiss mo lang naman ako kapag nag-aaway tayo," she said. "Huy! Hindi ah. I miss you all the times we're not together." I said. She kissed my neck and we giggled. "I'm really sorry, ga! I got carried away lang sa conversation namin ni Anton." I said and she nodded.

"Forgiven."

Her phone started ringing. "Hold on." she said and picked up. "Yeah... Okay na kami. Kakatapos lang niyang umiyak at mag-sorry." she said, on the phone.

"Eh wala eh. She called herself ugly for crying. You know what she said isn't true..."

"... my wife gets prettier every time I see her." she added which made me blush as I listened.

"O, sige na. Thanks sa pagtawag. Alright!" the call ended and I remained seated on her lap. "It was Leila! Sabi niya tinawagan mo daw siya kagabi to talk to me. Ngayon lang nakatawag si gaga kasi busy." Leonor said and we both laughed.

"I'm really sorry, ga." I said as I bury my face to her neck. "It's alright. Wag ka nang iiyak." she said, rubbing my back.

Leonor doesn't give me reasons to be jealous or envy someone which made me disappointed of what I did. She never did that to me. My wife always gives me the assurance that she's only mine at wala akong dapat pagselosan.

She started poking my cheek. "Anong ginagawa mo?" I asked. "Cute cute mo kasi!" she said with laughs. "Iiyak ka na agad, aaminin mo lang naman kung ano gusto mong sabihin."

"Ayaw ko nga kasi ng magkaaway tayo. Nakakatakot ka kaya pag galit."

"Ah? Kaya ginamit mo yung 'Cute na Asawa' power card?" she said.

"No..." I pouted then she kissed me. "Alam mo talaga anong weakness ko." Leonor uttered, now pinching my cheeks.

"Why did you lie to me about being free yesterday?" I asked her. She suddenly widened her eyes and let go of my face. "Because you matter more to me." she answered. "Nasayang tuloy yung oras mo. Sana pala hinayaan na lang kita magtrabaho kahapon."

"No, don't worry. You're always worth my time. I don't regret anything that I did yesterday."

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