Chapter 17: Now or Never

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Leila's POV

After 12 hours, Leonor hasn't come home. I stayed with Theresia to make sure she was safe, just as Leonor favored. Hindi rin makapagpahinga si Theresia at kanina pang aligaga dahil talagang walang paramdam ang asawa niya mula nung umalis.

"Ate Lei, nag-aalala na talaga ko. Baka napaano na siya," she said holding her phone and walking back and forth. "Delikado pa naman. Mahilig magmaneho nang mabilis yung kapag masama ang loob eh." she added.

"Kalma ka muna, accla. Alam kong nag-iingat si Leonor. Baka busy lang sa mga work niya. Dun ata binuhos ang oras para mag-cool down." I said. "For da nerbyos ang ferson."

"Ate naman eh. Seryoso ako."

"Seryoso din ako. Di ako nagbibiro." I told her, trying to suppress my laughs.

All jokes aside, I can see Theresia's fear and worries through her eyes. Pareho sila ni Leonor na expressive ang mga mata.

"Sabi ko kasi sayo, wag nang hintaying tumagal at lumaki ang problema. Di ka nakinig eh." I started lecturing but still gave her a glass of water. "Akala ko kasi bad timing. Alam mo naman yung issue about sa mother niya. Alangan naman makisabay pa ako."

"Matagal na pala alam ni Leonor." she sighed.

"Oo! Bumibili siya ng bulaklak para sayo nung araw na yun. Nakita niya kami ni Anton. The usual Leonor, she confronted us and yes, pati ako. The next thing I knew, pinagbabantaan na niya si Anton tas nagka-pasa at nagdurugo na yung mukha nung gago." I admitted to her about that moment I witnessed.

"You knew too?! I saw a bruise on Anton's face the following day. He said he was surfing and had an accident."

"Funny mo naman to think na aamin talaga siya. Lalaki yun and he will never put his guard down to admit that a woman was able to do those to him."

"If only you knew how Leonor protects you behind your back. She's the reason why everything runs smoothly in your life. Hindi niya hinahayaang umabot sayo yung problema, kaya siya muna ang haharap." I said.

Theresia started tearing up again. Parang every 20 minutes, naluluha talaga siya.

"Alam mo, kaya ka nasasaktan dahil ang bilis mo laging ipagpalit si Leonor sa mga mabababaw na rason. Konting may magbago sayo, iniiwan mo lagi yung tao. Tapos, kapag ikaw iniwan, ganyan ka. Pinahihirapan mo sarili mo Theresia." I said, seriously.

"Wag mo naman masyadong ipaubaya sa kanya yung title na 'home.' to the point na aalisan mo siya kapag may gusto kang gawin tapos uuwian kapag pagod na. Wag ganun." I said.

"Oo. Nasabi niya na yan."

"O, 'di ba? Kasi yan yung totoo. Masyado kang nagiging kampante na lagi kang hihintayin o hahanapin nung tao. Tandaan mong tao pa rin ang asawa mo. Mapapagod at mapapagod din yan kaya wag mo nang hintaying umabot dun."

"I'm telling you, pasalamat kang mahal ka ni Leonor. Kasi kung ibang tao gumawa sa kanya ng ganyan, baka wanted na siya ngayon." I said.

"I want to apologize to her. Okay lang kaya na puntahan ko siya sa opisina?" she asked me and I nodded "Oo naman."

-----

7:00 PM
Theresia's POV

I decided to pay a visit to her office. She said she stayed here overnight. I also brought a bouquet to give her. Apologizing might not be enough for now, but I really do feel guilty after all that I've done.

From the moment I stepped foot on her office's floor, I can hear her roars towards the employees. Nagbago na naman siya. Muli na namang natataranta ang opisina dahil sa init ng ulo ni Leonor.

"Good evening ma'am," one employee said. "Good evening . How's Leonor?" I asked. "She's currently hot headed ma'am. Ever since this morning." she answered. They all looked frightened and just really kept their faces on their computers.

I walked near the door when I heard another woman inside. "You're going to be alright. I'm here for you." the woman said to my wife. I peeped through the blinds and it was Iza.

"Hindi ko na maintindihan. Ang gulo-gulo na ng lahat." Leonor said while massaging her own forehead. Iza leaned om Leonor's desk and she's standing really close to her. "You deserve a break, ma'am Leonor. Pahinga ka rin po."

Does that mean they've been together since Leonor left the house?

After my thoughts, I didn't hear what Iza said that made Leonor laugh. I furrowed my eyes as I wondered what they're talking about. Medyo touchy rin pala siya. Hindi ba pwedeng tumawa lang nang walang hawakan?

"Thank you for being here for me, Iza." she said and they hugged each other. "Always, ma'am. Always."

Seeing Leonor that happy after what I did to her, I took steps away. Siguro tamang hayaan ko muna siya. Maybe this is the least that I can do; Let her be happy.

Clearly, she won't find happiness in my presence anymore. Asawa ko siya pero hindi na niya sa akin nararamdaman yung saya at pagmamahal.

I love her but sometimes maybe my love isn't enough anymore.

Seeing everything in slow motion, I still remember it all and it kills me everytime I do. I once reminded her of all the good things then suddenly she now remembers pain whenever she sees my eyes.

I looked at the bouquet I held, it somehow told me to just give it to her this time. So I did. I knocked and the moment I opened the door, Leonor gave me a direct stare. Iza did too.

"Hi. I... uhmm.. came here to just hand these to you. I.. I really am sorry." I said while my voice cracked as I tried to stop myself from crying. I handed out the flowers and she took them. I kept my head low. No one spoke, not even Leonor.

"I- I see you're happier here. So, maghihintay ako sa bahay. Baka dun na lang kita kakausapin. I just checked to see if you're okay. Hindi ka pa kasi nagm-message sa akin." I told her, stopping my tears from falling. She just stared at me. The silence is so deafening that it feels like the ground is about to bury me.

Suddenly, it made me realize that I might lose the chance to speak with her again. So, I really clenched my fist and pushed myself to talk instead.

"Leonor, I'm really sorry..."

"I-I know and I understand kung masama pa rin ang loob mo sa akin. Truly, it's all valid. I just can't stand not telling you a sorry. Masyadong tumaas ang pride ko and I chose to get angry rather than apologizing."

"Ma'am-" Iza said but I cut her off. "Sorry, but can't you see kausap ko asawa ko?! Hindi naman ata ikaw si Leonor so pwede bang mamaya ka na?" I fronted towards her then glanced at Leonor. Wala pa rin siyang reaksyon.

"Hindi ko rin matiis na hindi kita nakikita sa bahay. You're staying away from me at ako rin yung rason. I'm really sorry," I held Leonor's hand. Still, she didn't say anything.

As I looked into her blanked eyes, I gulped within my throat and my tears broke through. "Hindi ka ba talaga magsasalita?" I asked.

I wiped my tears and tried to get myself back together. "Okay, okay. I understand. Mahal... kita, Leonor. I-  understand." I said as I walked towards the door.

As I take steps away from her, it feels like stepping on shattered glass. I wasn't able to contain myself from crying anymore.

So many dreams at night, so many nightmares in the morning. If this is only my imagination, just please wake me up.

Every step I took adds up to the weight on my shoulders. It's like I'd fall anytime. Wherever Anton is, I hope he doesn't get to sleep. I blame it on him. He should've never abused my situation. None of this would've happened if I didn't choose to see him.

As soon as I was already out of her office, I no longer found Leonor behind me. She didn't follow to see me.

Are you asking me to leave already?

Do you no longer need my presence?

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