𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 ♧ SeungJin

XXXIX

"I would die for you. But I won't live for you."
Stephen Chbosky : The Perks of Being a Wallflower

♤♡◇♧

Hyunjin still felt a little bit guilty for how he treated Seungmin, but kept telling himself it was nothing compared to how the guy had treated his friends. He told himself that Seungmin deserved it, but felt even worse every time he said it to himself.

He knew that Seungmin really meant it when he had said he was sorry and to be completely honest, Hyunjin wasn't even mad at him anymore. When he said he would forgive the boy he had really meant it, but he wondered what his friends would think of this.

Would they feel offended that he was starting to genuinely befriend Seungmin? Was that even something they were allowed to get mad about, I mean, couldn't Hyunjin have whatever friends he wanted.

"You're starting to really like him aren't you?" Chan yanked Hyunjin from his busy mind back into reality where he was sitting in Felix's bedroom with the rest of his friends.

Most of them were talking loudly over one another, but Chan had moved to the back of the room where Hyunjin say quiet, thinking.  "Who?" He asked.

"Seungmin, obviously." The elder took a seat in the desk chair and rolled it slightly closer, "You feel bad about humiliating him at lunch." He knew a lot about how to read his friends' emotions and Hyunjin was no exception.

Hyunjin sighed, admitting defeat. There was no use in lying about it anyway, "Yeah, I feel bad about it but I know I should've. I mean, he did worse to Felix, Jisung, Changbin and Jeongin, not to mention Minho..."

"Do you like him or something," he played with the metal ring in his index finger, "I mean, as more than a friend." He clarified.

Hyunjin shook his head, "Maybe I'm growing an attachment to him as a friends, but not anything more." He looked up, "Why would you think I did?"

Chan shrugged, glancing to the group of boys still trying to fight one another on the other side of the room, "I mean, you did sleep with him."

"Yeah, cause I was drunk." He said, "And maybe I fooled around with him slightly when we were sober, but that's it. I don't like him like that."

Chan nodded, accepting his answer, "Well then what makes you want to be his friend? So you can get in his pants more often?"

"That might be a benefit but no.." he hesitated to say more but ultimately decided that the best person to tell this was Chan anyway, "It just.. I've seen him as not a shithead. He can be really sweet or funny and he's actually just really.. sensitive. He cries a lot and he hates keeping secrets and his best friend is his mom— which might be really sad if not for how wholesome it is."

When Chan just stared at him for a moment Hyunjin decided to let this all go, "You'd just have to see it." He shook his head.

"Then let me see it." Chan said simply, as if it was a command.

"He's shy, Chan, he's not gonna open up to just anyone you know. The only reason I've seen him that way was because he cried one time in front of me and I decided to help him. Also I fuck really good so why wouldn't he."

Chan rolled his eyes, but decided to ignore the crude comment, "What if he sits with us at lunch for a while, like, a few weeks. We don't make fun of him and we try to welcome him the best we can— obviously if he acts like a total dickhead we can throw him out."

Hyunjin shook his head, letting a deep breath flow out of his lungs with little thought, "You really think any of these guys are gonna want him sitting with us at the table? They all hate his guts and whether we're being mean or not we'd make him uncomfortable."

Chan thought about it for a moment before clapping his hands together loudly, "Hey, shut up!" He called to the rest of the boys, who listened almost immediately, "Hyunjin says that seungmin is a cool person so why don't we let him sit with us at lunch for a few weeks to see if he really is."

"Why would we care if Seungmin is a nice person?" Minho asked, holding Changbin in a chokhold as he spoke.

"Because Hyunjin's friends should be our friends." Chan concluded.

"Why would Hyunjin be friends with Seungmin?" Jisung asked.

"Because Seungmin is a cool person. Keep up." Jeongin snapped and Jisung reached out to hit him.

"Right so, can Seungmin sit with us at lunch then?" Chan asked again, this time hoping for a formal answer instead of 5 more questions.

"Uhm.." Felix hesitated, "If Hyunjin likes him then I guess we should try to as well, right?" He looked unsure about it, but Hyunjin was thankful that he was even giving Seungmin a chance, "Maybe he'll be really nice."

"Just try not to be mean and he won't get mean back—personal questions also seem to set him off so.. I'm looking at you Minho." Hyunjin warned.

"What? What did I do?" Minho asked, Changbin still struggling in his grasp.

"You asked him whether he was a top of a bottom, don't do that, dipshit." Jeongin explained.

"Maybe if we like him he can be a really good friend, and then Hyunjin will fall in love with him and we can all live happily ever after—that would be a good story plot." Jisung said, "but seriously, I bet twenty bucks Hyunjin falls in love."

Hyunjin shook his head, "You're a bitch."