Here is ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ
You like her, but she doesn't know who she likes with him in the picture.
(Mikasa x f!reader)
All rights to the creator of AOT I don't own AOT nor any of the images/songs/gifs/characters in the story I only own the plot of this bo...
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Breathing was easy. In and out. In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your nose. In through your mouth, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth. I mean, you've done it before, so just breathe. Breathe like before. Breathe, Y/n. Why aren't you breathing? Why are you on the disgusting bathroom floor? Why are your knees to your chest? Why do you feel embarrassed? Why is pressure on your chest not helping? Y/n, pick yourself up. The bell rang a couple of seconds ago, just stand and walk down the hall to your next class, not that hard. Y/n, can you hear me? Y/n, stand up! Okay, maybe not stand up, but try to function properly. People may come in here. You're embarrassing. Gods, do something, Y/n, anything!
Y/n, why are you so selfish?
Y/n was shaky, an anvil on her lungs. Y/n let one of her hands move to her skirt pocket, the other wrapped tightly around her shins. She found it; her safe haven. She grabbed the cold rectangle and turned it on with all of her unstable strength. Entering her complex password, she saw her simple home screen. She sucked in a breath, opening contacts. Luckily, she still had the person she wanted marked, second place. Underneath a raven-haired crush with pale pearl skin, a red scarf, and a matching pink pajama set. She closed her eyes tight, trying to calm herself before she called this person. Breathing in, she opened her eyes, pressing the second contact, a blonde with bob-like hair, a fake beard on warm white skin with dark gray eyes that glisten in the sun. Her finger hovers over the call button.
A burden, you'll be a burden. Why can't you fix yourself by yourself?
"Y/n?" Her teary eyes staring down at a lit-up screen, knees looking to be suffocating her, and hands shaking are what worried her.
Y/n didn't hear the bathroom door open or close, yet there she was, her crush for the longest time,
Mikasa Ackerman.
Her phone was forgotten. She could care less that her finger hovered over a different person when the one she truly wanted was right in front of her. "M-Mika." Her voice came out breathless as Mikasa knelt and got oh so close. "What's happened? Who did this to you?" Mikasa's grey hues stared into the h/c-haired girl's e/c ones. Shock and misery were evident on Y/n's face. Mikasa wanted to eradicate it with her warm and worried eyes, warm and tough hands, warm and muscular body, warm and soft lips on hers that would feel perfect- "I'm sorry." Y/n's lip wobbled and folded when she whimpered and cried harder, dropping her phone. She blocked her face with her hands trying to hide in the wall. Mikasa's brows furrowed, diving to grab Y/n's wrists and pull her closer to her instead of the cold wall.
"Y/n-" "I'm an ugly crier, stop!" The h/c-haired student fought against the raven-haired student's strong hold that kept her closer, forearms most likely bruising. Mikasa's lips almost brushed against Y/n's every time she came close to her, chest heaving. "Y/n-" "Stop, Mikasa," She demanded, and finally Mikasa let go, no matter how much she wanted to hold on forever. Y/n's back hit the cold wall. Y/n bit her lip, slightly hurt, and looked at her crush, only to be met with comforting muscular arms wrapping around her form. Y/n whimpered trying her hardest to keep quiet. Y/n squeezed Mikasa's white uniform shirt, staining it with salty tears, though, it made their hug warmer. Y/n could feel Mikasa's emotions melt into her. Her warmth radiated onto Y/n. Mikasa's own tears soaking Y/n's green sweater vest.
"Mikasa." "Who did this to you?" "I'm sorry." It was back and forth.
Y/n wouldn't stop spewing apologies at Mikasa and Mikasa didn't stop trying to get to the person who hurt her.
After a while, Y/n calmed down. Her breathing was slowing, so she moved away from Mikasa, wiping snot onto her forearm. "Y/n?" Y/n chuckled, fed up with her erratic display in front of her long-time friend and crush. "Can you leave?" Mikasa shook her head, tiny strands of hair falling in front of her face. Y/n slouched against the cold wall, hiding a shiver in case Mikasa pulled her back into the hug she was sure to shatter from. "And why not?" Y/n's voice was scratchy, slight waver at the end of her question. Mikasa all but smiled with despair in her eyes, hand coming to caress Y/n's shoulder, thumb playing with Y/n's collar. "Y/n, I've known you for a while, and you wouldn't leave me... So, why would I leave you?"
They had been friends for close to a decade. Close to a decade of feelings boiling over and never burning out the flame kindled in one another's hearts. I love you on the tip of each's tongue, denial in each's mind, confessions rewritten over and over and never said, pretend marriages over and over as children, and Y/n dating to get rid of feelings she knew Mikasa never had because Eren was in the picture.
Right now, Y/n's lip wobbling wasn't because of the comment from Levi. It was because she couldn't scream I love you at Mikasa. She couldn't scream it at the top of her lungs when Mikasa didn't believe that she liked Y/n. She was straight as Mikasa's parents always said.
But Y/n didn't know that part. Y/n just believed Mikasa would never love her. No, Mikasa would only hate her because she was gay and in love with her.
"I hate you." Mikasa's brows scrunch, pain and shock slapping her features. She just misheard her, right? She stutters out in hope, "W-what?"
Say something different. Say what you actually want to.
Y/n looked up, teary-eyed, and disheveled. She brushed Mikasa's hand away, trying to hide her grave face. "I don't want you here," Y/n said, assertive with no emotion, not caring that Mikasa's eyes were bloodshot from crying with her, for her. That Mikasa was in so much pain because of her.
Y/n was selfish. She put herself before anyone else and she didn't care about hurting people if it meant she was okay. She didn't care about anyone besides herself. She was selfish. Y/n was so selfish that she stood up, walked past Mikasa's distressed face, cleaned herself up, and made her way to her own class without another thought. She didn't care that it was Mikasa's turn to sob to the bathroom walls. She didn't care that now Mikasa truly did hate her. She didn't care that she broke Mikasa's heart. She didn't care that she broke Miaksa's heart. That she was truly a selfish human being. So, when she made it home, no emotion shown, not caring to engage in conversation, to walk home with anyone, to say goodbye, to say hello to her mom, she was selfish.
She was a selfish girl who let her tears fall onto the wooden floor. A selfish girl who let her pillow soak in her sobs. A selfish girl who paced in front of her window across from Mikasa's. A selfish girl who almost texted Mikasa and checked up on her. A selfish girl who almost apologized. Who almost made a time machine to change her decision.
See, she was selfish. Selfish enough to tell Mikasa I hate you, ruining their friendship and shoving Mikasa into the realization that she was crying over a girl who she liked but lost her chance with.
