66: I want to be me

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Hotel

You would've had a life with Yelena if not for her girlfriend

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You would've had a life with Yelena if not for her girlfriend. You decide this the moment her hands grip your thighs, hugging you tighter onto her back. She gave you your jacket yet carried your heels and carried you- she was carrying you to safety just like in a fairy tale. She was the one who could handle your love, but just like your mother, she was too late, wasn't she?

Levi was waiting, his shoes echoing in his room. He doesn't know why, or maybe he does, but he's stayed up for three hours. It isn't unusual for him, not being able to sleep until Erwin is done with work, yet this time his mind was filled with your broken face. When you said you went to see him, he thought you were telling him about that broken dream that would never come true. "Levi-" "Shut up." Erwin inhales deeply before nodding. "She's coming back. You just need to be patient-" "I know that, but she's- she's still a kid!" Erwin chortles, catching his husband's fierce eyes and letting his smile drop. "There's always a party and there's always problems after that we solve. It's no different than last year."Levi rolls his eyes, sitting on the bed his husband was on. "But she saw her dad, Erwin... I've never seen my dad, but I've seen my uncle, and he's- he's something like her father... I just want her to talk to me like I needed someone to talk to..."

Erwin's smile was bright as his husband talked. "Don't do that." His brows furrowed. "Do what?" "Smile like that." Erwin chuckles. "I always smile-" "No. You smile differently when I talk about her. Because I see her like myself, you always smile when I talk about how differently I'll do things with her." He hums. "It's good to see you healing a part of yourself through her, babe. Now can we go to bed before-" "Shit- Let me pick you up again-" "Stop it, Y!" Your voice is distinct, high-pitched, and sad. You're very sad. "Well, then how am I going to open the door if you're like this?"

"...Fuck off." "I'm older than you so knock it off." You must stumble and knock into something because the next thing Levi hears is a thud and your sob. "Ouch!" "Y/n-" "What are you two doing?" You refuse to meet his eyes, frozen just like the blonde. "S-sir-" "Answer me." Yelena stands fully, her back as straight as a board as she answers him, "Y/n twisted her ankle and needed help getting here. I'm letting her stay in my room because she and Mikasa got into-" "We aren't dating anymore. Just say that..." Levi watches as you sniffle and fail to stand. You breathe out a sigh and somehow Yelena leaves, just you and Levi in the hallway as he crouches next to you.

"The floor is dirty." "Then leave." Your form is slouched as you hold your wounded leg close to you. "Come with me." You sniffle. "No." He sighs. "Why not?" You scoff. "What are you- my dad? I don't need to give you a reason." There was longing in your voice, he could tell. He sighs. "...I don't know if I'd be a good one." You blink. "What?" He waits for a minute as your eyes sparkle with something he isn't used to seeing from you. "A dad. I don't think I'd be a good dad to you. You've seen how overprotective I am, and besides, it's not like I'd be at your house to help you." You feel your breathing stop. "What..." It's like you're drowning. Your eyes fill with pressure and your chest hurts. It hurts so much because Levi is putting in effort. "I don't know what happened between you and Mikasa- or you and your birth father, but we can talk about it. Erwin has cold water and trail mix in the room. We can talk about it in there, Y/n. And you can yell, and scream and cry- You can act like a kid as much as you want." Your eyes fill with tears. "Because you are still a kid, Y/n, and I'll always be here for you."

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