IN THE SILENCE: a Steve Rogers Story

30*

I sat in the jet, driving it while the team sat in the back, while Steve next to me.

I could feel his glance a lot. I didn't care. I knew he wanted to talk more.

I turned the jet onto autopilot and sighed. I looked over at Steve, who was playing with his dog tags. He put them on and hid them under his suit.

That felt like a punch to the gut. I just looked out at the sky again.

I looked back at the team. Everyone was asleep but Tony. He was up and looking around.

I smiled softly at him. He smiled back.

I shivered lightly. Steve grabbed his jacket from his bag and handed it to me. I smiled softly.

That was an act of love. I know this.

I put it on and sat back. It smelled like him. I kinda wished that I had saw him at the party last night. I bet her looked good.

His seat was close to mine. I missed him.

I missed the feeling of happiness.

"Steve?" I whispered.

"Yeah."

"Are you worried?"

Worried about us. Our relationship. Our future.

"No." He said. He knew what I meant.

The look on his face was a hint of guilt, and a hint of what I'm gonna assume is love. He seemed optimistic at most.

I nodded and sat my head back, still facing him in my seat.

I watched his muscles clench as he turned to look at me. He smiled softly.

Part of me wondered if we were toxic. Not in the way that we would abuse each other or gaslight one another. But toxic in the fact that we were both mentally not okay, and we romanticized the comfort of being broken together.

It worried me. We were both in bad places, but somehow all I wanted was him. His touch, his gifts, his looks, his kindness, everything. I wanted him.

He was looking at me. I didn't care.

For now we had to be avengers. But later, we're gonna get through it.

"Let's go on vacation after this." I whispered.

"Where to?"

"I don't know. I just feel like we should have some time from everyone."

"I wanna go stay in a cabin." He whispered.

"Okay." I whispered and smiled.

He smiled back. It was small, but it was all I needed.

I grabbed his hand and held it. He intertwined our fingers. His hands were so warm.

————

Everyone was gone from the jet. Steve stayed and put on his shield.

"Okay. My comms are open. Let me know if you see anything." He said.

I nodded softly. He pecked my lips.

"Bye." He whispered.

"Bye." I said softly.

————

Everyone was back on. But shit hit the fan. The team had taken a hit.

Steve was sitting next to me again. He hadn't said a thing. Nat was in the corner and Bruce was worked up.

"Where do we go?" I asked Tony.

"I have a place." Clint said. He plugged in the coordinates.

I nodded softly and flew there. Steve looked like he was gonna cry.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He just nodded. I reached for his hand. He took mine but said nothing. It was like he was lifeless.

Something was wrong.

————

I landed the jet. Clint led us to this house. It was cute. Very farmhouse living.

We got inside and looked around.

"Honey?" Clint called. A woman popped out.

"Hi." She said.

"Company came. Sorry I didn't call ahead."

She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"This is an agent." Tony said. I hit his chest.

I heard footsteps. Kids came racing in.

Steve gave me a look. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Did you bring auntie Nat?" The little girl asked.

"Why don't you hug her and find out?" She said. The little girl raced to give her a hug.

"We would've made a reservation but we didn't know you existed." Steve said.

"Fury set this up when I joined." Clint said.

I watched as Nat talked to what I assumed was Clint's wife. Then thor walked out. Steve followed him.

I walked out and found Steve. He was standing on the porch.

"Hey." I said. He turned around and looked at me.

"Let's go get cleaned up." I said.

————

Steve stood in the shower with me. Saving water I suppose.

He was close to me.

"No lying. What's going on?"

"The maximoff girl got to my head." He whispered. Water was running down his face and hair.

"What happened?"

"Can we just- can we not talk about it yet?" He whispered.

"Of course. Come here." I said. I pulled him into my body. He held me tight.

He pulled back and kissed me softly. I sighed in the kiss.

His tongue explored my mouth. He pushed me against the wall of the shower, making my back arch. He picked me up and set me against the wall. I moaned lightly.

"You good with this?" He whispered.

I nodded. He lined up with me and pushed into me. I set my head back on the tiles.

Steve kissed down the valley of my breasts as he moved. He grunted and I covered his mouth.

"Stay quiet." I whispered. He nodded.

I pulled him into a kiss as he slammed into me. All of this pent up anger and sadness from the last twenty four hours were being released. We needed it.

Steve held my ass as he slammed into me. I tried my best to keep quiet.

Nearly a minute later and he was already finished, as was I. I didn't know how, it was a blur.

Steve set me down. I worked on catching my breath as Steve planted kisses down my neck.

He pulled away after I caught my breath and looked at me.

"That's how much I love you. That was love." He whispered.

I smiled softly and nodded.

He kissed me softly before grabbing the shampoo.

"This didn't save water." He whispered. I chuckled.

"That's okay. It saved something else." I whispered. He kissed my cheek and turned me around.