KapCan & Macho World Tour

Chapter 51 - Compassion and Friendship

Can came back to Sanem's room with two kebabs for her and poutine for himself, but he found it to be empty. He didn't find her in the bathroom as well and was about to call someone, when his wife came through the door. She was visibly shaken.

– Birtanem, what happened? – He helped her to the bed and fixed the covers. – You look like you've seen a ghost.

– Something like that. – She smiled and grabbed one of the kebabs. – For me?

– Yes, but are you feeling OK? I'll get the nurse.

He got up, but Sanem grabbed his hand.

– I'm fine. – She knew she had to tell him where she had gone to. It was the right thing to do, but she also knew Can would be angry.

"Kız, you're in the hospital, you've had a surgery. He's feeling sorry for you. Do it now."

– I weh seeyeet.

– Come again? – Can couldn't understand a word. Sanem had a mouth full of kebab. The sauce was running down her chin, so he wiped it with a tissue.

– I went to see Yiğit. – Sanem repeated, this time clearly. – I had to know how he was.

– Why? – Can was immediately frustrated. He began pacing around the room. – He kidnapped you, drugged you, threatened with a gun, you had to have a surgery to fix your shoulder and you're still worried about him?!

– Can...

– I get that you see the best in people. I love this about you – he barely took a second to breathe – but this is ridiculous. And what if he attacked you? What if he hurt you again? – He looked at Sanem.

– Are you going to let me speak?

For a moment they looked at each other without a word, one angry and frustrated, the other exasperated. If Can expected her to apologize, Sanem thought, then he would be greatly disappointed. Seconds passed in a charged silence and finally Sanem sighed.

– I needed to see how he was doing.

– Why? – Can sat next to her on the bed. He was still fuming and when she extended her hand, he didn't take it.

– Because he's sick and as much as I am angry with him, I cannot condemn him. He needs help.

– Unbelievable. – Can got up and started pacing again. – Don't tell me that if you could, you'd drop the charges.

– No. – Sanem sat straighter. – No, I would not. Because that's the only way he'll get help that he needs. – She patted the place Can had been sitting a moment before and he reluctantly took it again.

– Explain it to me, cause I don't understand. Have you forgiven him?

– It's not forgiveness, Can. It's compassion. You may never understand, because you've never felt what it's like to not be able to trust your own mind. I have. – She gestured to ask him not to interrupt. – Can, losing you was like losing a part of myself. It hurt to the point of madness. And after that losing myself... That was terrifying. I was in a dark pit and wherever I looked, I saw nothing but more darkness. Sometimes I would see your face or hear your voice and it was a torment because I knew it wasn't real and yet, I couldn't do anything to stop it. But I internalized it. Yiğit is so deep in his delusions, he actually believes in them and acts them out. It's like his own mind took him hostage. He has no choice but to play that part. He's in pain even if he doesn't realize it.

– He's obsessed with you.

– I know.

– Sanem, what am I supposed to do with you? – Can slumped a little. His anger passed almost completely and against his better judgement he started to understand his girl's point of view. Feeling sorry for Yiğit was the last thing he wanted.