Chapter 8: Streber

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It was a really busy morning, as usual. I got up at 5, threw on a dark magenta jumper, a pair of jeans, and my black boots, and snuck my fake fangs in my pocket.
Then I had to get to the bathroom, hoping it wasn't already taken, cleaned up, and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. I made myself a small cup of hot chocolate, and waited for my mom to get ready.
Evelyn was ready a couple minutes later. She had a Lady Gaga T-shirt under a striped long-sleeved shirt, black sweats, and red sneakers. She had decided against wearing any makeup today, which happens often.
"You're up early, Streb." She says, half-awake.
In all honesty, I didn't sleep much at all. I was up all night reading a new book I found in the bookstore a few days prior. It's called Solitaire.  The main character was a girl named Tori Spring, and she met a boy named Michael Holden when she was following sticky notes into a computer lab. After that encounter, a blogging team known as Solitaire starts pulling pranks on her school, Higgs. She also has a little brother named Charlie. Charlie had been dealing with serious mental health problems. He struggled with eating. And after Tori went to a party, she gets a call from her even younger brother, Oliver, that Charlie had locked him out of the kitchen and wouldn't answer Oliver when he knocked.
It turns out Charlie was having a self harm relapse after a fight with his boyfriend, Nick.
Everything in that part of the story, at least, turns out fine, though, which is good.
Evelyn kind of reminded me of Tori. And that kind of saddened me. Evelyn would do anything for her little brother(her words, not mine), but that's exactly what worried me. I think I'm too much of a handful. I'm an emotional wreck, I'm kinda clingy because I don't have anyone else to talk to, and I only really liked talking about my interests, or my opinions on things. I'm not the best listener. I try to be, but I'm just not.
And I don't want her to worry about me. I don't want to ruin some romantic moment at a party because I was having a breakdown at home and wanted to isolate myself and cause harm to myself, and she's the only one who can help.
But I do feel like that a lot.
Once mom headed to the kitchen, I had finished my hot chocolate and put the cup in the dishwasher.
She then took me and Evelyn to seminary. An early morning mormon church lesson. I usually didn't pay much attention. And that doesn't change today. I still haven't finished Solitaire, so I brought it with me, sat in the back, and read most of the time. Until I heard my name.
"Streber? What do you think about that?"
Oh no. Now I have two issues on my plate. First of all, I had no idea what we were talking about, which was probably why I was called on. And second, sharing an opinion with the people here was like standing trial for murder. Say one wrong thing, you might as well be on the electric chair.
"Uhh.." I muttered. I look at the projector screen to see what the theme is, and my heart sinks. On the board, it read, "Should same-sex couples be allowed to enter the temple?"
This is what I'd been fearing for a while. This lesson. Great. I'm singled out. Of course he asks the one gay person in the room. I just stared at the teacher, silently telling him that I wasn't exactly sure. He gives me a slightly suspicious look and I'm scared that I may have silently outed myself.
But he moves on to another person. I was sweating and shaking. Why did we have to talk about this? Why can't we just talk about how immoral tea and coffee is or whatever?
Evelyn, who was sitting next to me, noticed. "Streb? Are you okay?" she whispered. I couldn't bring myself to say anything, so I just looked up at her anxiously.
Evelyn could see the terror in my eyes, fearful that the teacher would talk to mom about it.
"We can leave if you want." She whispered. I nodded, sneakily getting up with Evelyn. We successfully got out of the building, and Evelyn gave me a tight hug.
"It's okay, Streber...he's not going to tell mom anything. He never does..." Evelyn whispered. "It's okay."
I wish I could believe that. The sheer amount of terror that must've been in my eyes when I stared at him said it all. It must have told him, "I don't want to answer, not because I wasn't paying attention, but because I'm gay, and don't want anyone to know because I'd be ostracized by almost everyone I know."
"Come on, let's get to school."
The only reason mom drove us here today was because Evelyn drove her car here last night at around 10 pm for a meeting.
We got in Evelyn's car and turned on the radio.
"Another body found, now 5 confirmed victims of a mysterious man disguised as a devil."
That devil guy again. I keep hearing about him. There aren't any podcasts or anything on him yet, there isn't enough information.
I wonder who he is. And who the victim was. I hope it wasn't Kevin. He walked home last night. And the killer is local. I shouldn't let my fears get the best of me. Plus, I should only start to worry if he's not at school today.
"The victim is an unidentified teenage boy found on the side of the road near the Candy Club"
Scratch that. I can start worrying now. Kevin's family are locally famous for opening the Candy Club. He has only been my friend for less than a day, but I still care for him. And I don't think I'd forgive myself if he was the victim. I wanted to offer him a ride home, but I was too nervous.

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