What a drag to love you like I do {Damiano David}

32 - Video

"Hello mother" i said. "Bel? Hello sweetie" I could hear how shocked she was to hear me. "How are you, i haven't seen in you in a long time".

That was true, i haven't seen her for so long, and i miss her and dad like hell."We're ok, but-" she started, but i perfectly knew what she was gonna say. "Mom, i know, Damiano's there, with you" i said. She just sighed "What happened? Where are you, he's really worried".

"Mom, i can't say where I am, but i fucked up really bad, at first i thought it's Damiano who did, but it's opposite. I fucked up really bad. I'm calling you to ask for some help". "What is it, Bel?".

"I'll send you a video, show it to Damiano, i don't want to send it straight to him" i took a deep breath waiting for an answer. "Umm, yeah...ok" she said sadly and i hung up.

I changed my outfit and set my phone in front of me. I took some deep breaths and i felt as tears gattered in my eyes. That meant only one thing - this will take some time and it won't be easy at all.

D A M I A N O

I am panicking like crazy. Olivia said that she told some shit to Bella, and now i'm scared. I don't know what to do, i'm so freaking hopeless, and powerless.

My whole vision was so blurry, i could barely see anything. She's gonna be ok, i know it, well at least i want to believe it. Last time i heard that she did hurt herself, i can't even imagine what she can do now. All i want is to see her, hear her, touch her, feel her pressence.

I was laying in her bed staring at the ceiling with tears on my cheeks when the door opened. "Damiano.." i heard Maria say.

I looked at the woman looking back at me. She held her phone tightly. "There's something i have to show you" she said quietly and sat next to me. I also sat besides her. I saw tears shining in her eyes. She handed me her phone and stood up walking towards the door. She looked back at me and said "stay strong" after that she left.

I opened the phone and first thing i saw was her. My Bella, my baby. It was a video. But i didn't really hurry to watch it. I just stared amused at her. She's gorgeous. She sat on the couch with leggings and oversized hoodie.

I took a deep breath, wiped my tears, hoping for her to say that she loves me and that she's on the way back here to me.

I carefully pressed the *play* button.

Ahemm...
Hello Damiano.
I don't even know how to start this. I'll send this video to my mom, because i know that i won't be able to send it to you.

Olivia told me about your situation. I'm sorry for making you like this. I never wanted all of this for you. I was mad at you, i left, but now i understood that all of that was my fault. I deserve everything that happened then.

But i'll go to the point...

Go back to your home. To Italy. Guys are waiting for you, the love and miss you so much. I know what are you doing and what are you trying to achieve by doing this, but stop it... You have to move on.
It will be better for everyone. And i'm no good for you..

At this point i couldn't control my emotions. She was talking a total bullshit. She was the best that have ever happened to me. I looked at the bottom of the screen and saw that it's only the half of the video.
But i can't finish it, I can't even breathe. "You can do this, c'mon" i cried to myself.
With shaking hands i played the video again.

You know it. We'll be better apart. Don't search for me. As i said just go back to everyone and move on. I know, if you really love me, it will hurt, it will hurt so bad, but you have to do this, for me.

I saw her crying in the video. She sobbed, but still tried to talk.

It will hurt for me too, because i love you more than anything. More than myself.

If you worry, then don't, i won't do anything, i will just live as far from you all as I can. I try to make you forget me. And you'll see.. Very soon you won't even remember that girl named Bella even exsist.

Dami, my baby, i love you so much, but I have to say goodbye...
As much as i don't want to, i need to...
Thanks for the best memories, hope we'll see each other when we will be grey and old, and we will talk about what a beautiful life we lived with other people..

Always yours, Bella

She said last words, wiped her tears and turned off the video. "Baby, don't say this, it's just a prank, isn't it?" I asked myself. My whole body was aching. Mostly my heart. I think i just heard how it broke. The pain is unbearable. I can't do this, it's too much for me.

Everything around became black and white, it seems like she left and took all of the happiness and colors of my life with her.

I sat for a minutes with hands in my hair and then it hit me. There's no point. There's no point in anything now. There's no point in staying here anymore. She's gone. From Italy, from here, from my life. She ran away, because of me, and at the end she blames everything on herself.

***

I just reached the airport. I will do as she says. I'm going back to Italy. Not home, just to Italy. People says, that sometimes home is a person. And now i finally understood that she is my home, and noone will ever change this.

I'm giving up now, but i know that we will meet again. And not grey and old as she said. We will meet very soon, she wants it or not. She cannot escape from me, when she was the one who got me addicted to her.

Her voice, her eyes, her lips, her whole body, her kisses, her smell, her touch, her laugh, her tears, her smile, her stupid jokes, her comforting, her everything.

I was so lost in my thoughts about her, that i barely even heard that the gates are open.

***

I sat into my seat and put the headphones on. I opened my music player and put on "the loneliest", well that's how i really feel, and i will for a long time......
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Helloo❤️❤️
I literally wrote this while listening to The Loneliest😭😭
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