(Not edited. Short)
THE OTHER BROTHER
CHAPTER 18
SKHOSANE
I have been pacing up and down. Stress has taken a toll on me. I am stressed – in fact I am beyond stressed. How did I get here in the first place? Did I just betray the woman I claim to love? Khanyi will surely kill me for this. I can't accept losing her for good. Honestly, she’s one hell of the good things that has ever happened in my life. She brought me light, love, peace and happiness. But what did I do with all of that? I just tossed it aside like one used tissue that has no value. I will never forgive myself for this. Maybe if I fought for our love, I wouldn't be here questioning my loyalty with Thabi. That girl is way above my standards, and it scares me at times. What if in a later stage she decides to be with a man that is in her league? I wouldn’t be surprised though. That girl is something else - forward at the same time.
“Son, are you, okay?” My father asks. He sits on the chair that I was sitting on before I began pacing the racing competition. I stop on my tacks and turn to face him.
“I slept with her, and it was never my intentions.” I say with a huge lump stuck in my throat.
“Who you slept with?” He asks.
“Khanyi’s sister Thabi.” I say running out of breath. This will surely kill her slowly. This was never my intention at all. Feelings were caught and here we are today. How do I express falling for the same sisters at once? This was never supposed to happen in the first place. I need someone to guide m4e on this one.
“I don’t understand.”
“Baba, I am saying I slept with Thabi and I regret it!” I feel like kicking a bucket filled with water. Maybe, just maybe my consciousness will die down. My father keeps quiet for a while. No response from him – this assures me that I fucked up big time. I regret it, but it was a bittersweet moment. How does one get to be torn between two worlds. I am split into two. Short left or short right. Which direction do I get to take?
“Then why are you mad?” He asks.
“I betrayed the woman I love!” I snap. I can’t believe that my father is this slow.
“Okay. Men cheat.” Really, is this the best advice he could give me? I am hurting! I look at him running out of words. He clears his throat and sits up straight. “I don’t know what to say honestly. But at the end of the day, you did not cheat you just feel in love with your future wife.” He says. I am defeated honestly. My father is something else. I walk out of the room - I need fresh air before I run out of my mind. Maybe going out for a run will go. I run along the road, but my chest is burning with this secret inside. I am sure there is a way of blurting the whole truth out. The arranged marriage and now this! I stopped running and sat at the side of the road. I wish Khanyisile was the woman set for me. She understands me In and out. She values my interests. She knows my background from the get-go. No woman understands me like she does. With no point in me sitting here, I decided to go back home. I find my mother in the kitchen cooking up a storm. It smells nice, no lies.
“Mah.” I walk past her after sending out my greetings. I need no company from here at the moment. I need to find my way forward. My life is a mess and I feel like I am being controlled in a way. In an actual fact I am being controlled.
“Skhosane.” That is my mother. I stop on my tracks...
“Mah.”
“Did you see your wife?” She asks. I told her that Thabi is not available but yet she still asks me if she is still around. Sometimes black parents are disappointing. Why would she ask me an answer, Did I not tell her that Thabi is not around?
“Thabi is at home. Her homestead!” I hope that sinks in her head.
“Okay. We need to sort out the lobola negotiations. I heard that she has never been with any man. Skhosane my son you are very lucky.” she adds. I slowly want to chock slam her so bad. Whoever said that Thabi was sealed clearly heard another vision of the whole story.
“Okay.” I have no words. I need to talk to her first before anything can be concluded. How can she lie to our parents and say he was sealed whereas she was damaged goods. If it was Khanyi, I would have understood. I feel my chest rising up and down. I honestly don’t believe this girl. A part of me believes that she is disrespecting me in a way, just because I have nothing. I take a deep breath. This is something I will keep to myself. Maybe at a later stage she will open and tell me her fears. I will not say a word until I get to hear the side of Thabi’s story. Maybe she had her reasons that I know none of. Talking to her will sort this whole equation out at once!”
