If Only You Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 5.

Back to Harry's point of view. 

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I washed my wrist after I cut..I said I was only going to do one but I ended up doing seven. 

1.Because i'm fat.

2.Because i'm ugly.

3.Louis doesn't love me. 

4.I can't handle the hate.

5. I'm not Eleanour

6.I'm gay. 

7.Louis thinks were...bullshit. 

I know what i'm doing is wrong but i've never agreed more with a person then when victims of self-harm say they feel relief..because that's exactly what I felt. 

I just couldn't figure out what push Lou to that extent..we've gotten loads of Larry tweets but now is when he decides to freak out. I just..did I do something wrong? 

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( an hour later)

I hear the door open and then I hear talking..great they're back.

I still stayed in my room I don't want to see anyone's face right now especially Louis'.

As if on cue I hear Zayn call me downstairs. I didn't want to make Zayn hate me either by not listen so I just went.

As i'm walking down the stairs I see Eleanor on Louis' lap and I swear I heard her say "Larry." 

"Oh hey Harry, look mate we're really sorry we for-" Zayn started to apologize. 

"It's fine..don't worry about it." And then I looked at Lou he didn't even try to apologize or even look at me, I found myself getting angry.

"Oh and did by any chance did you guys see what was going on in twitter?" I rudely asked. 

I soon as I said that all heads including Lou's snapped back to meet me.

"So Lou..we're bullshit huh?" I asked meeting his gaze. 

"Harry, you know what I was talking about I was talking about the romance portion of it..not our brotherly bromance." He replied

"Stop trying to justify yourself Louis, do you imagine how much hate that poor girl is getting now just because you couldn't control your anger and decided to freak out!!" "We've gotten tons of Larry crap and you've never said anything what the fuck pushed you over your limit this time?" I was getting angrier by the second. 

"They were sending hate to Eleanor that's what pushed me over my limit Harry, you don't even-"

"Oh so Eleanor can't handle a little hate now poor baby..cry me a fucking river princess." I replied harshly..oh I wish I never said that.

Louis got in my face, if I leaned in a little closer I could kiss him I thought..Wait Harry you're arguing no time to think about this crap.

"Harry don't you dare talk about my girlfriend that way, what the fuck is your problem? You make it seem like you want Larry to be real. And as far as I remember you're the only princess here because you fucking cried when you received hate because you messed up your line in a performance.. You're such a fucking-

"Louis stop that's enough." Liam huffed.

I could feel my eyes starting to water but I quickly blinked I wasn't going to cry in-front of him not now not ever. 

"No Liam, he has the fucking desency to talk shit about my girlfriend when he's the one who can't handle the pressure. You're such a prick Harry what the fuck happened to you? You're not the same anymore."

" No Louis, you know who isn't the same anymore YOU! All I want is my best-friend back..MY LOU back we used to do everything together and you never forgot about me. But ever since Eleanor came along you've neglected me and you've treated me like shit and i'm sick of it!!" I was trying to hard not to cry..but I could feel the tears coming. 

" I moved on Harry. and that's something that you have to do too, you make it sound like you love me more than a friend and you're jealous of Eleanor. I honeslty don't know why you're getting so worked about it Larry means absoloutely nothing Harry get it through your thick skull."

I didn't care who was watching but I let the tears flow down my cheeks."That's cause we're bullshit..yeah?" I whispered and ran to my room.