If Only You Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 27.

Harry's point of view

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When I pushed Louis out of the room..it all just kind of hit me. I've lost Louis and i'm never going to get him back. 

I walked over to a picture of me and Louis in the X-factor. I picked it up and I could bearly see it from the tears that were blurring my vision.. I threw it against the wall. 

If I was going to make Louis suffer this would be the only way..acting like he doesn't exist, forgetting about him and to do so I need to throw away any memory that I have of him. 

I took out my photo album and I got all the loose pictures of us that were in my room and put them on the floor. 

I started ripping every picture to shreds a sob escaping every single time I ripped a picture. 

Before I knew it there was a pile of little shredded photos in-front of me. I can't do this anymore I can't.

I got up and went to the bathroom and searched for my razor..when I finally found it. 

I took a shaky breath and looked at the razor twirling it around in my hand.. time to cut again. 

1. Because I hate myself.

2. Because i'm fat.

3. Because I'm ugly.

4. Because I can't sing.

5. Because i'm weak. 

6. Because I'm not Eleanor.

7. Because Louis hates me. 

8. Because Louis thinks it's weird to feel this way. 

9. Because he talks crap about me. 

10. Because Louis doesn't love me back. 

I watched the blood ooze out of my wrist and fall down to the tiled floor ..I got up and rinsed it under the faucet. 

I walked back to my room and looked at the shredded pile on the floor, I picked it up and opened the window.. and threw it out. They seemed to flow with wind.. 

I'll try my hardest to get over Louis Tomlinson... I'll pretend like I don't even know who he is... I'll pretend like we never met, I'll pretend like I don't love him.... and that's a promise.