If Only You Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 33.

So right now we're driving to the airport so I can leave to Cheshire, and to be honest I was dreading it. 

Zayn of-course was trying to act like it didn't affect him but he hasn't looked me in the eyes at all and he tries to ignore me because he says if he looks at me he'll cry. Liam has hugged infinite amount of times and a couple of tears have come out but that's it. Niall's face is completely flushed and he has been sitting with me holding me saying he isn't going to let go until we get to the airport. And Louis...my poor Louis, his eyes were bloodshot and he had a bit of stumble from the lack of shaving and he kept whimpering every-time Niall said he was going to miss me.. he was looking at the window not once meeting my eyes.

The van came to a sudden stop and we all got out. As we were walking inside the boys were already getting teary eyed. 

"All passengers for Cheshire, the flight will be leaving in 7 minutes." the speaker suddenly announced. 

"Well, boys this is it I guess." I said luckily my voice didn't break. 

Niall came running to be sobbing on my shoulder and I couldn't help but feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks."Harry promise you'll be okay. Promise me you won't do anything stupid and please keep in touch, call me, skype, tweet, anything just please keep in touch and be safe. I love you man don't forget that." He pulled away and his face red and wiped his face with the back of his hand. 

Liam came next and he engulfed me in a big bear hug. He started whispering in my ear, "Listen Harry, when you come back I want everything to be ok yeah? I want you to come back happy and I want you to come back as if nothing were wrong because I know you're breaking and I know you need this. But when you come back you better be the same old Haz as before you got that?" He pulled away and he didn't bother wiping  his tears away. 

And next came Zayn, as soon as he wrapped his arms around me he started sobbing. We didn't say anything we just cried in each others arms. Until he decided to speak.." Harry listen man, I love you and One Direction isn't going to be the same without here but I mean you got to do what you got to do right? Listen to what i'm about to say though, You have to let yourself be loved and love at one point, as much as you liked to you can't stay this miserable forever...or maybe you can, but why would you want to Haz? Which is why I to believe you need to  get away and just think..." 

I chuckled and wiped the tears away..."You are deep bro, really deep." 

He just smiled an ruffled my hair and went back to were the boys were standing.. 

I was kind of waiting for Louis to make a move but he never did and I just decided to leave it at that..

"All passengers for Cheshire the flight will now be leaving in 3 minutes."

"Well goodbye boys." I gave the three lads one last hug and started to walk away when I felt a pair of hands wrap around behind me. 

"H-harry please d-don't go. Y-you can't l-leave me, I n-need you p-please st-stay." And I didn't have to think about it twice I knew it was Louis.

I turned around and his arms will still wrapped around me..I still didn't reply to him and I guess he noticed that cause he continued to talk.

"I kn-know i'm a j-jerk and an id-diot but Harry y-you can't go, you c-can' leave me like this I-I w-won't let you!" He was starting to get louder and he was sobbing on my chest and that's when I guess I let my guard down and I wrapped my arms around him and started to whisper comforting things in his ear.

"Hey Louis, everything is going to be okay. I need to go my flight is going to leave and I'm going to miss it. I'll be back before you know you and i'm sure Eleanor will keep you company, everything is going to be okay alright Lou." I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand...and I honestly didn't expect the reaction he gave me. 

"Let your flight leave I want it to leave so you won't have to go. Everything is not going to be okay because you aren't going to be there Harry...and I don't care about Eleanor right now! I care about you and I need you, I need you so that way I know everything is going to be alright...y-you just can't l-leave me." He started yelling but his voice coming down to a whisper towards the end.

"I'm sorry Louis but I have to go.." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and started walking to the door and the lady asked for my ticket and I was just about to give it to her when Louis started screaming..

"Harry don't leave me! Harry please I need you here with me, Harry my heart is pounding against my chest telling me not to let you go and that's what i'm trying to do, Harry please! Haz please come back and stay home with me and lay down and cuddle with me...HARRY!" he fell on his knees and the boys rushed to his side.

The tears were now pouring out of my eyes and I handed the lady the ticket and before I went inside the door I took one last look at Louis and he was on the floor sobbing and the boys were holding him.."I'm sorry Louis I really am.." I whispered.

When I got on the plane I took my seat and thankfully it as against the window.. I took out my journal.

Dear Journal, 

It was so hard to say goodbye...to see Louis breaking. That was the last thing I wanted...I didn't want to hurt him, I thought this was going to make it better but it clearly isn't. I just wanted to rush to his side and stay with him and assure him that everything was going to be okay and I was there to stay. But I know I need to get away and as much as it hurts, I know I can't stay... I love you Louis and I'll love you while i'm gone...and i'll love you when I get back..and I love you forever. Cause this feelings are infinite and they aren't going anywhere..

-Harry.