If Only You Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 18.

Louis' Point Of View.

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I can't get that image out of my head, no matter how much I try Harry's blood covered wrists and sprawled body keep popping up in my mind. 

" This is all your fault Louis, it's always Eleanor this and Eleanor that until you completely neglected Harry and caused him to do this!" 

I kept repeated Niall's words into my head, because he was right! 

If I wasn't such an idiot if I didn't pay much attention to the Larry crap none of this would have happened but I didn't do that. I cause Harry pain and I made him suffer and I pushed him over the edge which caused him to do this to himself. 

If anyone deserves to be in that hospital bed it's me. 

We were all outside in the waiting room. Liam was hugging Niall who kept sending daggers in my direction and Zayn was silently sitting down on the corner with silent tears streaming down his face. And me? you ask. Well I was a mess. I was violently shaking and I was freezing and no matter how much I tried to stop crying more tears seemed to come out. 

" Family and friends of Mr.Styles?" the doctor asked.

All of us sprang to our feet and asked the usual question like "how is he?" "Is he ok?" etc. 

" Yes Mr.Styles is awake now, but he lost a lot of blood and he seems to have a minor concussion, but other than that he is good he will be able to leave in three days or less depending how well he recovers. You may all go see him now." The doctor spoke. 

Liam, Zayn, and Niall all ran to Harry's room but me..I was dreading it. Yes I was overjoyed that Haz was okay but I couldn't stand going into that room knowing it was my fault..knowing everyone in that room hates me at the moment..knowing that Harry almost died and if Niall didn't find him I would've never known. 

I sat back down in the chair and let the people who actually deserved to be around Harry comfort him. And just thinking about how bad of a friend I am. 

I saw Zayn come out of the room and look at me. 

" Hey Lou, what are you doing here? Don't you want to see Harry?" Zayn asked as he made his way towards the chair next to me. 

"More than anything Zayn." I whispered. 

"Then what are you doing here all alone? Why don't you go inside like the rest of us and go see him and make sure he is okay?" Zayn asked again.

"Because I can't Z! I can't go inside that door knowing that Harry could've died! I can't go in knowing that this is all my bloody fault, and knowing that everyone in that room despises me right now! Knowing every single words that Niall spoke was true! I can't Zayn, I can't!!" I sobbed.

I was crying way harder than I was before and I was choking on my sobs until I felt Zayn wrap his arms around me. 

"Hey Louis, look at me." He said while lifting my chin with his finger. 

"No one in that room hates you, yeah Niall's a bit ticked off because well it seems he know something about Harry that the rest of us don't. And Louis it isn't your fault that Harry did this..until Harry tells you that you caused him to do this don't put yourself through this agony. Yeah Harry could've died but he didn't Lou! He is alive and breathing so stop thinking about the could'ves and would'ves and think about the do's and are's and is' because he is here..and so are you Louis!" 

"People aren't kidding when they say you're deep." I joked.

He chuckled, "I love you man, so stop being a princess and let's go see your best-friend."

Just as we were about to get up Niall and Liam came out. 

"He wants to see you alone Louis." Niall mumbled. 

I was about to go in when Niall stopped me. "Louis i'm really sorry I snapped I just..I just kind of lost it really I never me-

"It's okay Ni you don't need to apologize because everything you said was true." I interrupted and I wrapped him up in a big bear hug and left to go into Harry's door. 

Here goes nothing..