Harry's point of view.
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My heart was pounding and I wanted to turn around and hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright...but I couldn't because nothing was ever going to be alright.
When he ran to me and hugged me, I just wanted to melt into his arms and wrap my arms around his petite figure and let him know that I was never going to let go.
When he started sobbing I just wanted to kiss those tears away and assure him that there was nothing worth crying for.
When he started apologizing almost choking from his sobs and I just wanted to shush him and tell him that all was forgiving...but that wasn't the case.
With every step I took farther away from Louis the more my heart seem to long for him, the more my heart seem to pound against my chest telling me to turn around and comfort him..but then there was the voice in my head, telling me that if I turned around I was giving Louis the permission to hurt me over and over again. I was giving in to easily he kept saying, saying I was nothing but I weak bastard..so I followed my mind and stayed in my room.
I was leaning agains the door silent tears coming out of my eyes. Evertime I heard Louis Let out a sobbed I flinched and wanted to race to him just like he raced to hug me. It pained me knowing that it could be me there comforting Louis and holding him, kissing him, making all his troubles go away...but instead is was someone else.
I got up from the floor and looked at myself in the full length mirror...what I saw disgusted me. I went to the bathroom to grab my razor and do my daily routine.. 10 cuts just like every other night.
Then when my cuts stopped bleeding and I put on my pajamas I grabbed my journal and started writing.
Dear Journal,
Do you ever feel, so sad that, your chest aches, and your heart beats, but you just feel so empty. Like you're nothing and your life is nothing. And you feel like everything would be better, If you could just sleep for a while. Do you ever feel like that? Cause that's how I always feel.
-Harry.
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