The Easy Way Out

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Davina's pov
September 4th, 2:00 p.m.

I hate myself. I hate myself so much that I can't even stand to touch my own skin. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror and be happy. I can't stand that my whole life has been much more of a lie than I thought. At this point I'm not even sure if my mother is even my mother. But what do I know? Apparently nothing. Not enough to hold any power. Not enough to keep the lead in this war I have yet to start.. I know the war is coming. My father held power. Colton held power. He still holds it all. All I am, is a girl with a powerful last name. Maybe I should've known something like this could happen to me.. I wanted to be wrong though. I wanted to feel like my life wasn't going in a downward spiral. I wanted to believe I had at least one parent that wanted me. Now I've got to live with the fact that it was all a lie. It was all just a game to him. It was all just an act to make me delusional. What about Kayson though? What about his parents? What did they know? What were they hiding? What else could possibly get worse than this?

I lay my head back, dropping it into the water I've got surrounding my body. I keep my head underwater, letting it consume me all at once. I let the now, cold bath water surround every inch of my skin, sending my body into the most painful state possible. I slam my head onto the floor of the bathtub and once I realize it isn't helping, I do it more. Over and over again. I scream under the water, hoping to get some relief in my bones, hoping to let out some of my pent up anger and betrayal. I bang my arm against the side of the tub, all while holding my breath under the water. I open my eyes and let them stare up at the ceiling from where I lay, zoning off into another world for just a second. "Davina?" I hear the sound of someone's voice, echoing lowly through the water. "Davina!" All I can do so is stare at the ceiling. I think about the backstab from Colton and feel a chill in my bones. My body grows hot, feeling more and more numb by the second. "For fucks sake, Davina!"

I'm yanked upwards suddenly and I gasp loudly, letting my lungs refill with the air they were desperately begging for. I close my eyes feeling the burn of having them open for so long. I hear the voices of so many people, so many people I don't want to hear. I open my eyes and look around quickly, seeing that I'm no longer in the bath. But the floor beside it. I feel a shirt or towel get pulled over my head and it pulls my attention fully to my vision. My eyes are filled with fog, my vision completely cut off by the depths of my anger. My emotions. Their betrayal. "Davina?" I hear my name over and over again, repeatedly by more people than one. I blink hard and slow, trying to gain focus at the people who carry these voices. Just to see no one. Not a single soul. I look around once more.. being sure to check every corner. Then I see him. "You sick bastard!" I scream, my voice shaking with anger as I stand and look at his devilish eyes.

I walk to him, with venom seeping out of every pore of my body. "Davina, no. It's not-" I shove him, punch him, smack him, do anything I can to ease this pain. I scream at him, mean things I could only ever say to someone with such horrible intentions. "You fucking destroyed me, Colton!" Is the last thing I muster out, my voice finally breaking under the weight. "Davina! Listen to my voice. Come back to me, baby." I suddenly feel my heart drop to my stomach, the voice of none other than the love of my life. The voice of my best friend. My eyes go wide and my feet begin to take me backwards, not stopping until my back hits a wall. I look around once more and begin to shake my head nonstop. I look down to make sure my body is covered, just to see that it was a shirt, and it hangs just above my knees. I look back up to meet Kayson's eyes, searching for any signs of hurt. "No.."

He stands there with his eyes on the ground, his head resting on the wall that was originally behind him. "No. Kayson.. I-" I try to get my words out, but my voice is suddenly no where to be found. "Come here, darling." He looks relieved and heartbroken all at once, his voice even but also slightly shaky. I look in the doorway and see Xander standing there with a sympathetic look on his face, wrapping Willow in his arms like she's the only thing keeping him together. "What happened? What'd I do to you?" I look back at the tub, seeing it filled with water, a slight red tint in the usual clear water. I suck in a harsh breath and look into the mirror next to me, that's when I see it.. blood seeping out of the skin on my neck. On my chest, where my heart is. And on my stomach.. where my babies are. All seeping out of the grey T-shirt. "No. No no no. When did that happen? When did I- WHEN DID I DO THAT?!"