Grief (all 1 part. Ik its long !!)

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2 years ago.... (Y/n)

The phone rang at 3:29 am and it was pitch black. I knew it was about her. Nothing else was on my mind. Light spread my room as the landing light turned on and my mom shuffled around in her room. I hear her exhale before she opened the door and my chest filled with dread, tightening beyond belief.

" honey, its jasmine. Shes gone honey. Im so sorry. Her mom said we could go to the hospital to say final goodbyes." My mom whispered. My dad stood shocked in the doorway and i just fell into my moms lap. She held my shaking body and i cried so hard i couldn't breathe. Everything felt restricted.

I pulled on a hoodie and climbed into the car. The drive felt like an eternity. I kept my hood up and when i walked into the hospital i saw jasmines mom. Stood there, crying. Her eyes welled up again and she just held me.

" your the last person to say goodbye. See her again. She needs you. I love you sweetie." She tries to smile for my sake but her lips are twitching and she looks in pain. " okay." Was all i could say and the doctor lead me to a room on the 3rd floor and she was dressed in her own clothes. She didn't look like herself. She wasn't herself.

I grabbed her hand because it felt right but when i felt the coldness of her skin i dropped it. Guilt consumed me. " i love you so much. Dont do this to me. Just wake up! I need you. Jasmine." Once the doctor saw i was crying harder and heard me begging her to wake up she intervened and placed a hand on my shoulder. " she has to go." She gently told me.

I was lead out the room and it finally felt real when i saw the tarp cover her whole body. She was shut away. My bestfreind, my whole world was just shut away and taken away from me.

The week between the night at the hospital and then her funeral i didn't talk to anyone. Our freinds group chat was blowing up. I shut my phone away and tried to leave my own life. I didnt feel like i deserved any of it and i hated that i felt so guilty, why was i playing the victim? Shes dead!

My mom shouted someone was on the phone for me. I picked it up and it was jasmines mom. " i want you to speak at the funeral. You deserve to be the one to send her off. I trust you." She says. I say i will and i will prepare something.  I grab a fresh piece of paper and start to write.

The day of the funeral the weather is warm. I wake up with a clear head, something i havent had for a while. I get dressed in the jumpsuit she loved me in. I found her hot pink converse and decide its only right for me to wear them.

I stand up to give my speech. About 50 pairs of eyes are staring through to my soul. " hi everyone, im y/n. Jasmine is my best friend and she will always be with me and i wanted to start by thanking you all for coming and celebrating her life." I start and the crowd has faint smiles on faces. My hands are slightly shaking but i take a deep breath.

" i remember mine and jasmines first halloween, we were walking down our street. I was barbie, and she was also barbie. Because best friends should always match. And i mean that, something always matched with us. Even our matching pink gowns we planned for graduation." i start and some people smile and nod their heads to my speech.

" i really miss you. Your are the most sweetest and independent woman. And i know that you would have grown up to be unstoppable. But i know your looking down on all of us and i really want to say i love you. And im so thankful for all the time we had to spend together. You have changed my life for the better, and i hope i grow up to be half the woman you were. I love you. And i miss you. Please take care of everyone here today. And wait for me. Please?" I say and people clap and smiles cover the room. I thank everyone and head back to my seat, my mom clasps my hand and kisses my knuckle.

After the funeral i just head home. My phone starts to ring and i see its my friend matt. " hey matt." I say and he says hello. " how was today, just wanted to check up on you." He says and my eyes start to well up. " it was good, my speech went good. I hope." I laugh and he does too.

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