Omega Chronicles: Bite Me!

Chapter 47 (TW)

Jai's POV

TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

I stared nervously out the window, trying to focus on the trees flying by to take my mind off of the fear I could taste in my mouth. The same fear that was my constant companion during the war and routinely showed up in my worst nightmares. The despondent yet frantic feeling of not knowing what's going to happen. Of losing someone precious to you. Of losing your own life in a violent and tragic manner.

The grief it left in its wake was so overwhelming that all I could do on some days was break down. To let it wash over me instead of letting it fester like rotting meat. To be honest I would've broken down right now as well, if my heart wasn't going a mile a minute and making sure the Adrenaline in my blood was reaching each and every cell of my being. The anxiety of not knowing if my brother was safe prevented me the luxury of grief.

I knew the war had exacted a massive toll from Rishi. While he had decorated himself as a hero dealing Dominic's army crushing defeats, his psyche was marred by watching so many of his comrades die. True to form he had taken to blaming himself and his own missteps for their deaths.

Hindsight is a tricky thing. One hand it humbles you by making clear the unpredictability of things but on the other hand it gives you a glimpse of what could have been. And it was the latter that my brother took to heart, obsessively pondering over how many more people he'd have saved if he took a specific route or how he should've checked the forest for more enemies.

Rishi is an exemplary leader in that he cares deeply about his people and is willing to put himself in harm's way to protect them. But the depth of his love is often very punishing to him, making him constantly feel like he's at fault for not doing more. This is compounded by the fact that he keeps his thoughts and feelings strictly private and no amount of coaxing or goading will ever get him to spit them up. These bottled feelings of self-loathing and the severe trauma of the war-front are a disaster waiting to happen.

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

And last night it did. Rishi tried to take his life. Mom hadn't given me much information other than the fact that they found him in his bathtub drowning in a pool of Silver Water. Immediately dad pulled him out of it and rushed him to the hospital and mom texted me on the way.

Guilt weighed on me heavily because if I'm being honest we all saw the signs. He had recurring nightmares where he woke up in sweats and screamed terrifyingly. As soon as he'd regain his wits he would assure us he's fine and throw us out of his room. No matter how much our parents tried to get him to take psychological help but he refused. Eventually his reluctance to accept any sort of help, shutting people out and more controlled symptoms due to his taking up the bottle made us think he was getting better and dropped the matter.

Dominic made a sharp turn overtaking a truck, jolting me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry" he said keeping his eyes on the road, tension visible on his face.

He had been singularly focussed on getting me back to the hospital where Rishi was admitted. He had decided to drive me himself when he heard what happened, not wasting a minute in conversation. He hadn't spoken at all really, just glancing at me in the mirror routinely to check up on me, to see if the calming hormones he was projecting at me right now was working or not, thinking I'd not notice.

I could've lost Rishi today. My older brother, the one who'd always looked after me, the rock of our family gone. Just like that. It's like someone dropped me from a cloud, where I was plummeting towards earth at breakneck speed, waiting for a collision.

The car came to a screeching halt and I immediately rushed out of the car, Dominic followed suit.

Before we rushed up to the floor where Rishi was kept I stopped in my tracks. This was the first time I was meeting my parents since my mating. And the last time my dad and Dominic were in the same room they'd tried to kill each other. This was too precarious a situation and I didn't anyone to be more upset.