On-site shenanigans:It's just a prank. The Prank:

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*Knock Knock*

"Come in."

Krieger looks up from the pile of paperwork on his desk as the door clicks open and Springfield steps in setting down a mug and a plate of assorted sweets.

"Thank you Springfield, you didn't have to include any cookies, I was fine with just the coffee."

S: "My pleasure~ Of course I had to, what good is coffee without something to go with it~?"

"I suppose you're right, thank you, I'll see if I can't stop by for dinner later."

S: "Understood Commander, please let me know if you need anything."

The doll pats Krieger's head much to his embarrassment before leaving. For a brief moment, while the doors open, Krieger hears the familiar giggling and whispering of P7 and ART, this time seemingly with FNC in tow.

"Nothing good comes when I hear those two, I should probably call Mondragon and see if she can't corral them again." He mutters to himself, a hand pausing at the earpiece before lowering down. "They can't get up to that much trouble can they?" He asks himself before resuming his paperwork. That attempt at self-reassurance is quickly foiled when the giggling and whispering show up outside his office door.

K: "What are you three doing out there? Can't you find something better to do than harass me?"

The sounds immediately hush up before resuming again, this time coming out as a whisper.

*Outside the office*

"I saw Springfield walk in with a plate of snacks earlier for that old man, we can take it!"

"Isn't the commander only 27? He had his birthday a few months ago."

"Hush FNC! He'll hear us! Besides, have you seen the grey hairs on him? Everyone knows people with grey hair are oooollllddd."

FNC:"Well how are we gonna take them without him noticing?"

"Its easy. ART come here and show her what you brought."

ART: "It's one of those flash grenades that UMP-9 has! I took it from her earlier."

The pint-sized AR beams as she produces what is decidedly not a flashbang, but a frag grenade.

FNC: "I-Isn't that a grenade? I thought flashes were longer.."

ART: "Dummy, why would I get a grenade from UMP9 when she uses flashes?"

FNC: "Maybe because she tricked you?"

From the office comes a muffled: "What are you three arguing about out there?"

P7: "Just gimme it you two, before he eats it all!"

The doll grabs the explosive out of her companion's hand before pulling the pin and pushing the door open, underhanding the thing in before shutting it as the three quickly press themselves against the wall.

*Back in the office*

The Commander eyes the door awaiting a response, only to watch as the door slides open a crack and a familiar handgun hand tosses in a M67 frag grenade.

*Click* *Clink Clink*

"... Are you.. Kidding me.." Krieger gets out as he ducks under his table and prays that what he paid for was oak and not imitation wood.

*BOOM*

Just as he thinks it may have been a poorly done joke, his ears go deaf and his vision shakes and dims as the blast destroys lights and pushes his desk back like it were made of cork, his head slams against the underside of said desk and he see's stars.

A few feet down the hallway M4's just finished with training and coming back to pay her Commander a visit, she notices the three familiar pranksters and decides to pay them no mind when the door to the Commanders office blows into the hallway and smoke, and dust follows suit out with the write-off.

"H-Hey I don't t-think that was a flash g-grenade P7."

"S-Shutup ART, maybe they have b-bigger explosions then we t-think."

"You think h-hes alright?"

The two ARs, and Handgun look at each other before simultaneously gulping. P7 slowly makes an attempt to tip-toe away before a gloved hand lands on her clothes stopping her in her tracks.

"What.. did you three just do to the Commander...?"

FNC: "We're so dead."

ART: "It was P7! She threw the grenade in! We told her not to!"

P7: "D-Don't throw me under the b-bus! You g-got it in the first place!"

The handgun responds in a vain attempt to save herself as other dolls begin showing up having heard the rather loud and unmistakable noise of a explosive.

"W-What happened are we under attack? Is the Commander ok?"

"M-Miss M4! Are you alright?"

"Of Course it's these three again.."

The three attempt to flee only to run right into the crowd where they're grabbed and held onto. M4 steps into the dim office, dust swirling in the air, everything scattered and utterly destroyed.

"Commander? Are you ok?"

K: "Does this even look okay at all dear?.. I've got the worse headache of my life right now, and I gotta start half my paperwork over again. They even blew up my favorite mug!"

The Commander bemoans as he picks himself up from behind the desk, before immediately getting pulled into a hug by the AR, her hands running up and down his body searching for injuries.

K: "D-Dear its alright, my head just hurts now, I'll be fine."

"They threw a grenade at you, Commander!"

K: "And I'm still alive, so that's good."

"We're going to the infirmary."

K: "But I just went yesterday."

"They threw a grenade at you, Commander."

K: "You already said that, Worst prank ever."

"It isn't a laughing matter!"

K: "Fine. I'll go."

He sighs and steps around his ruined office and out the door, the dolls outside letting out a sigh of collective relief. G36 ever-present steps past with a broom and dust pan. The 3 culprits right in front of him, held in place and resigned to their fates as he glares at them before sighing.

K:"Do you three even realize what just happened?"

P7: "W-We're sorry.."

K: "You just fragged your commanding officer, its literally treason anywhere else."

FNC: "I-It was P7's fault."

ART: "Y-Yeah."

K: "Neither of you two decided it was a good idea to stop her, you can't point fingers here.. Your leave off base for the next month is canceled, and you're scheduled for explosives training, again for the 2 weeks."

P7: "We understand.. Sorry Commander."

K: "I hope so."

Krieger sighs and heads for the medbay accompanied by M4, barely dodging a emptied-out, and shredded filing cabinet that G36 flung out the doorway.

K: "I don't know how I put up with these three Mai."

M4: If you'd like a solution. We could retire them."

K: *pffft* Always the practical one aren't you dear, I couldn't stand to do that, unfortunately."

M4: "I knew you would say that."

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Got this idea after seeing that meme with Jesus and Satan regarding how their respective children would clear rooms in urban warfare.

09/15/23

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