Better This Way 2

Chapter 2

We landed safely in Beijing after hours of the journey. The weather is nice and the air smells good. It's safe to say that choosing here for the vacation is the best decision I've made so far. Jane is right beside me. She's carrying our box as we walk out of the airport to meet our driver.

"Welcome to Beijing miss. I will help with the luggage" he said and took the box from Jane.

He put it in the truck and hurried back to the driver's seat. Jane has our fingers interlocked while I leaned on her shoulder. I am so tired and sleepy. I tried my best to stay awake but ended up falling asleep as we journey to the hotel we earlier booked.

I don't know how long I slept but I can hear Jane calling and tapping me warmly to wake up. So I did.

"We are here Becky" she said.

We got out of the car and just then, I was able to look around. The hotel looks bigger and more beautiful than it was in the pictures and videos we saw on the internet.

"So beautiful" I muttered.

After checking in, we made our way to our room. It was a couple room, as big as the mansion's master bedroom in England. I was looking around and admiring every corner of the room, when I felt Jane's hands wrapped around me from the back.

"Thank you for bringing me here. I am already in love with this place." she said.

I smiled and turned to her. Jane cupped my cheeks making me look straight into her eyes. If only I can feel what I felt for her again, all these would have been easier. She started bringing her face closer to kiss me. We were just inches apart when I stopped her ...

"I will bath first" I said awkwardly and moved away from her.

I know she's sad that I keep avoiding her kisses. I walked to the bathroom and locked the door. Got undressed quickly and got into the bathtub. I am staring at the scar on my neck from the mirror infront of me. I would never have it erased. I would never undergo any surgery to get it removed. It reminds me of the terrible thing that happened to me.

Happiness is far from me. I feel something in me is missing. I feel empty. I feel like I am living someone else's life. I am being pushed into a marriage I don't want, I never liked business but here I am managing one of my dad's companies.

The only thing that makes me happy is the law courses I am currently studying. My dad and Richie don't know about it. Infact, no one knows except my mum and she has been helpful to me.

I know I pretend to be okay but deep inside me, I feel lost. I wish my memories from 18 years ago can come back to me. What happened in those 18 years? What was I doing? How did I get betrayed by this person they said I once loved that almost got me killed? I am tired of people telling stories of what we did together that I don't even remember.

My tears started falling when I thought of all that. Maybe dying in that accident would have been better. Because I see no point of living. My mind is so blank, the only memory I have are my childhood memories. Sometimes I see someone or something I feel they are familiar but can't remember where I know them from. And sometimes when i try so much to remember, my brain damages the more, so it's better I don't force it all.

"Becky?" Jane called as she knocks on the door bringing me back to the present.

I let out a sigh and got out of the bathtub. I grabbed my towel and came out of the bathroom.

"Hey. Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah" my quick response as I walked to the wardrobe.

She already got our things out of the bag making me wonder how long I spent in the bathroom. She was looking at me worriedly and I had to smile at her to ease the tension. She smiled back and got into the bathroom.