Don't Get Eaten

Chapter Sixty Four

"Come on man. You have to eat something." Ezekiel begs once again, but I just turn my head away.

The weeks following the worst day of my entire life were ones of constant moving from place to place, scourging for food, somewhere safe to sleep for the nights, and me wallowing in depression and despair. I didn't want to do anything. Didn't care whether I lived or died. The times where I used to be afraid to go into unknown dark buildings were gone, replaced by a man who just barges in without a thought or a care if I get attacked or not.

My days were spent not saying a word to anyone while my nights were spent silently crying in the deepest parts of my soul. I knew the others heard them, my tears of heavy grief, but they don't say anything. At first they tried to support me but after awhile of ignoring their sympathy and help they finally got the hint and gave up.

Except Ezekiel.

I didn't know what the hell his deal was, but he wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. Can't he see that I didn't want his help or his company? Why did he still try when he barely even knows who I am?

But like always, I appease his annoying begging by snatching the open can from his grasp and this time fully turn my back on him. I just hear him sigh in defeat and walk away. Placing the can down next to me I hear,

"Why do you even bother? If he wants to starve to death let him."

But as always Ezekiel says, "We can't just give up on each other. Each other is all we have."

I close my eyes as they well up in tears. I hated that my emotions were still all over the place if something like that was making me cry. Pushing the can away from me I lie down in a ball, the coldness of the night seeping into my clothes making me shiver. I could get closer to the fire but then that would mean I would have to input myself with those people and I didn't want that.

There were others that joined along the way, but one by one they all ended up dying one way or another, until more showed up out of nowhere with no one to turn too. It was becoming common and to the point that me, Ezekiel, and Tanya were the original ones left.

I didn't want to get close to any of them.

What was the point when they're all just going to end up dead too and leaving me alone as well. It was better to keep my distance and not bother getting involved, no matter how much they try to get me to open up.

***

Another three days pass and I had no idea where we were. Or more accurately wasn't paying any attention to where we were going. I sort of just hang in the back of the group walking slowly, not listening to a word any of them say. And apparently don't pay attention to my surroundings either.

I honestly don't know why I'm still around. Should have just stayed back in that old run down trailer that they were able to find. I felt tired all the time, didn't have the energy to move anyways, and just wanted to curl up crying all day long.

I see the looks. The pity, the sympathy that I didn't need or want. None of them knew my story anyways and none of them knew or understood what I had lost. According to what I do hear I'm the one and only person whose been in this hellhole the longest out of everyone. But none of them knew that because I didn't bother telling them.

I don't tell them anything.

One of the guys in the front starts arguing with someone else that just joined the group. It was daylight so at least their shouting wouldn't cause unwanted visitors. While everyone else was showing signs of irritation at the two of them, I just stand back not caring one way or another.

For once I decide to look up and check out my surroundings just to see what all the fuss was about. We were stuck on a road that split into two different directions in a neighborhood. Apparently one guy thought it was best to head in one direction while the other thought otherwise. Did it really fucking matter where we were going when we all were just aimlessly roaming around anyways?

Rolling my eyes at the drama of everything I swing my gaze to the left only to have my heart start pounding in my chest. The street sign up above was one I knew very well. I quickly scan the area again, my entire body coming alive for the first time in weeks. I knew this area.

Ignoring everyone I start walking away and into the direction of the street that was blaring that sign like a beacon of familiarity. I hear someone call out my name, but I just push forward my mind racing, my heart thundering, and my insides twisting. Because even though what I was walking towards was somewhere I wanted to be, it was also somewhere I needed to stay away from.

But my stupid heart wouldn't cooperate with my stupid head.

"Jinsen! Hold up!"

I barely even acknowledged them as I faintly hear their footsteps following me. My chest tightens as I get closer and closer to my destination. My eyes welling even though I try hard to prevent it. The closer I am the faster I start walking, then start running.

"Jinsen!"

Someone else cries out my name, but like the first person, I ignore them too. It wasn't until the house came into view that I take a deep calming breath and stop. I just stare at it like it was the hardest yet most amazing thing to look at. The others finally catch up to me, breathing heavily as they stand by my side looking at the house.

"Do you know this place?" One of the girls, who I didn't even bother getting the name of, asks.

Yeah, I knew this place. I've only been here once, but I knew it. And the fact that I still remember where he lived should have irritated me, but I understood now why it was so easy to remember. Because it was his home.

I don't answer her, like I never do, and take a step forward instead. I knew what this place was going to do to me, but I needed to be here. It was the only thing that made me closer to him. The only thing that I had left now. And knowing that breaks my heart into another million pieces, a sob nearly taking over before I stopped it in time.

Taking the first steps on the porch its exactly how I remembered it. Down to the last detail. Which means the inside was pretty much the same too, right? Putting my hand on the door handle, I take another deep calming breath.

Then I turn the knob and step right into Zared's home.