Don't Get Eaten

Chapter Sixty Five

As soon as I walked through the threshold an empty coldness surrounds me.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but the feeling of absolute emptiness was a little more than I could bare. I look around carefully, tears threatening to fall. Like my heart and soul, the place looked grey and dreary. You could tell no life has lived here for a very long time.

Dust, cobwebs, and dead leaves graced the home as the living room windows were left cracked open. A slight breeze blew in causing the curtains to gently sway. It was so quiet that as soon as I took another step it sounded loud with an echo.

I head for the stairs pausing at the pictures hanging on the wall. Pictures of him with his family as he grew up. They were coated with thick dust. I hear the others file in talking amongst themselves as they too start checking the house out. The place was too bright for any monsters to be in here since apparently Zared's parents seemed to be more into lighter colors to decorate their home with.

Looking away I head the rest of the way up until I come across his bedroom door that was closed. Placing my hand on the doorknob my chest painfully tightens, my shoulders tensing as I desperately try to hold myself together to face what was inside. I wasn't sure I was ready, but I knew it was all that was left of him here in this world.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly open the door.

I thought I could contain it, but I was dead wrong.

As soon as I saw everything that was him, the first sob came out of me with no reservations. This room was completely him. No matter where I laid my eyes it all screamed Zared's name. Pushing through I head for his desk first. Tears begin to obscure my vision seeing his unopened laptop that held decals of his favorite anime, something I see he never grew out of.

Like everything else in the house, this room too was coated with dust. I didn't care as I graze my fingers across the stickers like they were the most precious things in the world. Next to it was a notebook for math that was left open and instead of leaving answers to the questions there were random doodles he had drawn.

My throat tightens with a hiccup I couldn't control coming out of me as I see something he created with his own hand. Not thinking twice I tear it out gently and fold it carefully before placing in my jean pocket. I then scan the room more carefully, capturing every little detail I possibly could.

There were sports posters against one wall, while the other held anime ones. There was a cabinet filled with medals, trophies, manga of different kinds, pictures with his teammates over the years, I grab a frame that held our second grade class before the fighting started between us and see us standing next to each other with huge smiles on our faces. At the time I had lost one of my front teeth, so I looked a bit funny.

But we looked like any happy seven year olds.

Putting it back I look to find our team picture from archery club. We were standing so far apart from one another, reminding me of the distance we used to have. A distance I wished had been dissolved way before we ever got stuck here.

The time we had together wasn't enough. It would never have been enough. Not for me.

Roughly wiping my face from all the tears, I look away to face his open closet. Moving slowly towards it I slowly open the sliding door the rest of the way to reveal all his clothing. I roam my hands against the fabrics as I recognize a few articles that he had worn over the past year. Some of his school uniforms was in here as well.

Sniffling, I take a well worn jacket that I knew he loved wearing all the time in the winter. It was one of those leather jackets infused with a built in hoodie sweater. From the feel of it, it was great quality and thick. Taking it off the hanger, I pull it close to my body and inhaled. A light scent of his cologne still hung on the fabric.

My chest hurt, twisted, felt so raw. Before I knew what I was doing I start snatching all his clothes from the hangers, racking sobs pouring out of me as I hug them all close. I couldn't take it anymore, couldn't stop myself from thinking, from knowing that I was never going to see him again, never hear his deep voice, never see his beautiful smile, or feel his skin on mine.

The overprotectiveness that used to irritate me and now miss with every fiber of my being.

My body starts shaking and I realize it was because of the uncontrolled crying and heartbreak, the grief of losing the only person I truly loved. The desperation of needing him here, to be with me now more than ever was so strong that I couldn't contain it anymore.

I sit myself on the bed, unmindful of the dust, and just bend over letting everything out. All my anguish, my hurt, my sorrow, my pain, everything. I didn't care who heard or what anyone thought of me in this moment.

My soul was ripping to shreds, pieces that will never be mended or brought back together again. He was my one person, my one and only, the half of me I didn't know had been missing until he pieced us together. In this moment, I finally understood how much he truly meant to me.

I don't know how long I sat there clutching his clothing to my chest, letting the tears dry on my cheeks. Eventually the sobs calmed, and I was once again feeling the numbness seep into my skin and bones. I stare at the carpeted ground.

I wasn't sure how long he had been standing there in the doorway just watching me and I honestly didn't care.

"Who is he?" Ezekiel asks gently, leaning against the doorframe.

Closing my eyes, my throat raw and strained from all the crying, I hoarsely whisper, "He was my everything."

"Was?" His brows furrowed in sadness.

Stupid tears never ceased to go away. "He...died." My voice broke on saying the word.

"I'm sorry." He shifts on his feet uncomfortably. "How did he..."

Looking away from him, I stare down at Zared's clothes still tightly clutched in my embrace. My vision blurry again.

"He died protecting me."

We go silent for a few moments as he roams his eyes everywhere in the room. Probably judging on what kind of person Zared had been.

"You really loved him." It wasn't a question, but a fact.

Smiling wobbly, I say, "Yeah, I really love him." Not correcting him that it wasn't past tense. I still love him and will always love him regardless of him being gone.

Then my smile disappears.

"I love you, Jinsen. So fucking much." I could still hear his voice saying the words loud and clear, breaking my heart even more.

"And I never got to tell him that I do."

Clearing my throat the heaviness was starting to weigh on me and I just wanted to be left alone again. "Sorry, but I want to be alone now."

He got the hint right away as he nods his head, grabbing the doorknob. "Just so you know, Jinsen. It may feel like it right now, but you're not alone. You have us. I just wanted you to know that."

Then he shuts the door leaving me in a room full of haunting endearing memories that made me wish that I was with Zared on the other side.