Loaded

teenager

"mom we can share my room", mom is flustered trying to arrange a temporary bed for Darcy. With my sister and husband in my childhood room and my nephew Howie in Joseph's room and my youngest nephew Adam in the guys bedroom it leaves money no option to agree to him sleeping in my room or on the sofa.

"I don't like this savannah, he's much older than you and he's married. What will people think"

"I'm only 5 years older than Jason and you approved of him" Darcy is wearing a pair of Howards pyjamas that absolutely bury him but I still find him super sexy. This man has me feel like a horny t shirt, I wonder if the fact we're in my childhood bedroom has anything to do with it.

"Darcy you seem like a nice man but my daughter's almost half your age, your unique arrangement as you call it complicates matters"

"Kathleen just let them go to bed, we can discuss this further in the morning when we all have clear heads" my dad pulls mom away before she can protest any longer.

Dad has been quiet im worried what he will say when he finally shares his opinion.

I close the door behind them, a second later is opened "do not close this door" mom complains.

Darcy walks around my room and studies my things, he picks up trophies and looks through the photos on my mirror.

"Gymnastics champion, you have a lot of awards. Quite the over achiever"

I watch as he touches my photos, I haven't been in this room in years so I'm not even sure what photos he could be looking at.

"You and tom were serious I see" I look over his shoulder and the the small collection of photos where Tom and I are kissing or staring into eachothers eyes lovingly. I cringe as I look at them, it feels like a different life. I had adored tom, if he hadn't broken my heart we would have been married now. Loosing him was what made me rebel, I had been the perfect version of me, I had done what was expected of me, I behaved the way I was expected to behave and it still wasn't enough.

"Yeah he was my first everything"

"Your first everything" he asks as he raises his eyebrows suggestively.

I look over at my bed, it's still covered with an excessive amount of floral cushions. My room is exactly the same as it was when I left.  I gesture to the bed, Darcy's eyes follow my hand "I had sex for the first time right here"

I start to remove the cushions and pass them to Darcy who places them in the ottoman the bottom of the bed. I slip into the bad, Darcy lays beside me.

"Tell me about it"

"You want to hear about me having sex with your intern"

He smiles and shakes his head "I want to know about you, tell me"

"Everyone had gone to the Hamptons for the weekend, I had suppose to sleep at my grans but her and mom weren't speaking so mom never checked with gran that I was there. I had the full house to myself, I couldn't wait to play house with Tom and be his wife for the weekend. I had even dressed for the part I wore my mom's pearls with my cotton dress. "

FLASHBACK

"Honey I'm home" tom walks through the door like he's the man of the house. He puts his baseball cap and varsity jacket on the coat stand in the space reserved for my dad.

I flutter into the hall with a glass of whisky, he kisses my cheek and takes the drink. He takes a sip and splutters, it's too strong for him. I take it from his grasp and lead him to the kitchen, I down the drink on my way.

"How was your day dear" I ask in a sing song voice.

"Football practice ran long but other than that it was ok, are we gonna order a pizza"

"Dinner is ready when you are" I gesture for him to go in the dinning room. I've laid out the table with mom's finest china and silver wear, on the silver serving tray there is a pepperoni pizza. Tom laughs, he holds my chair out for me and waits for me to sit before he takes his own chair. He's having as much fun as I am.

"How was your day dear" he asks, I laugh at his stern tone. I can tell he's trying to impersonate his own dad.

"Cheer practice, tennis lesson at the club and then I finished my homework"

"All that and you still managed to prepare a wonderful meal and clean the house"

"I'm nothing if not a perfect host" I joke.

"Is it bedtime yet" tom asks, we had discussed loosing our virginity all week.

I blow out the candles that sit on the table and make my way upstairs. Tom looks nervous, I'm not sure if he is ready for this. Hell I'm not sure if I'm ready for it.

"I love you, you know that" he puts my face in his hands and looks in my eyes. I nod, I know we love eachother and one day we will be married.

He kisses me, we stumble back until we're at the bed. He takes the hem of my dress and lifts it above my head. He clumsily tries to understand clasp my bra, I help him and throw it to the ground. His eyes are scorching my skin, he makes quick work of undressing, I'm too shy to help him. I stand there looking at him, he has a nice body. I finally lift my hand and trace his packs. He cups my breasts, he's a little rough but like me we have no idea what we're doing.

"Are you sure" he asks. I nod, I slide my underwear diwn my legs and he does the same. I move back and lay on the bed, he covers himself with a condom and climbs on top of me. He had told me that he had been practicing putting on a condom for weeks.

I wince as he enters me, he searches my eyes for approval. I nod again, I want this. I want him. He moves slowly as he kisses my breasts, I can't say it feels good but it feels different. He gently places kisses along my neck which I enjoy. He moves quicker, I wrap my legs around his waist which makes it feel so much better, it's clear it feels better for him too as he quickly comes undone. His face contorts as he orgasms, he moves from me and quickly disappears into the bathroom. I see the small pool of blood under me and grimace, I quickly remove the bedding and throw it in the hamper. I remake the bed and wait for Tom to return. I change into my PJ's and sit on the end of the bed.

"Sav come here"

I head to the bathroom and find my tub is full with hot water and bubbles. Tom gets in and gestures for me to join him. It feels too intimate but I do need to bathe. I step in the water and sit so I'm facing him.

"I love you Savannah"

"I love you Thomas"