Loaded

part 6

To say it's awkward is an understatement, I knew I would have to face Elizabeths family eventually but I had hoped it would be way in the future. Why did my brother have to marry her niece Terri. I hadn't realised until mom told me that they were related I of course knew that Darcy and Elizabeth were guests of the bride at the wedding reception but I didn't realise they were related.

Toni assured me she wasn't close to her aunt and didn't blame me for her death but I don't know how the rest of her family feels. I know they must judge Darcy and I for marrying so quickly after her death,he didn't Morne her but why would he after what she did. I had tried to get him to attend her funeral but he refused, I do think he probably regrets it now. He was angry, she had tried to kill me after all but I think he still cared about her even though he refused to admit it.

I take one last look at myself in the mirror, I'm wearing a light blue dress and a cream jacket. I think mom will approve, I think I'm suitably dressed for a baby shower.

My brother and Toni had announced their pregnancy only a month ago and wasted no time in organising a baby shower. My mom is thrilled at the prospect of her first grand daughter but is still not Tonis biggest fan.

"Don't be nervous"

"I'm not nervous" I lie.

Darcy gives me a look, one that confirms he doesn't believe me, honestly this man knows me better than I know myself.

He kisses my neck before looking into the mirror reflection at my eyes, I can see the worry etched in his own face.

"It would be nerve wracking running into your ex wives family but when your ex wife died after trying to murder me it's a little more " I can't think of the right word so I don't finish my sentence.

"Karma, she tried to kill you. You have no reason to feel bad or whatever you feel. What she did was unforgivable and she deserves what's coming to her in the afterlife"

I turn and face him, he puts his hands on my waist and stares into my eyes almost penetrating my soul.

"You believe in the afterlife"

He nods, I don't know why I'm surprised by this information.

"I believe in heaven and hell, I believe that good deeds will be rewarded and bad ones punished. I have no doubts where she is" he looks at his feet and wiggles his eyebrows.

I'm not sure I like the idea of hell, does one bad decision make you deserve an eternity of damnation.

"But what if the person's life was full of good deeds and it was just the one bad decision " I feel bad imagining Elizabeth being tortured by a fork wielding demon for eternity.

"Elizabeth was no angel, she did charity yesterday but it was a just an excuse to wear expensive dresses and gloat about her money and social sysndinf. The fact charity comes in handy in tax season certainly didn't hurt" be pulls me to his chest and holds me tightly.

"I wished her dead, when the gun was pointed at me I prayed she would die so I would be saved. Am I going to hell"

Darcy laughs "babe if everyone who wished her dead went to hell it would look like a firey Manhattan. I never realised back then how many people despised her, yes I thought she could be rash and cruel but I thought it was just one of her quirks. When she pointed that gun at you I wished her dead too, if your going to hell I'll be right there with you"

"Whipped and flogged for eternity together" I roll my eyes and wipe the stay tear falling from my eye.

He laughs "don't threaten me with a good time"