Loaded

part 4

I reluctantly tell my mom about our argument, I don't divulge that I was in a make strip club when my husband found me. Mom listens intently and nods her head. I can see that she has a lot to say, I worry she will blame me for the whole thing.

"Oh I see why you're so mad, I wouldn't be happy being compared to that awful woman either. Plus you're not a stereotypical second wife"

I nod as she speaks, I'm a little stunned that she's not calling me unreasonable.

"Usually a second wife is much younger and comes along when the man is much older than Darcy. Mid life crisis usually starts at fifty plus it's quite normal for a man in his early forties to be getting married for the first time not as common for him to already be on his second marriage"

Mom has a point, men under 40 are not interested in marriage. All the weddings we have attended have been for older couples.

"Plus these are very unusual circumstances, his first wife was a lunatic and technically he didn't divorce her for you. I think it's unfair to refer to you as his second wife, Elizabeth was hardly a wife at all"

"Honesty I was so mad" I tell her, just thinking back to our argument makes it all feel fresh.

"I heard rumours about their marriage but you know I don't participate in gossip"

I roll my eyes, my mom is the queen of gossip. Whatever she doesn't know is not worth knowing.

"I heard they were swingers, I heard she exclusively dated men under 25 and that they attended sex dungeons" mum whispers even though there's only us in the garden.

I can't help but to laugh, "they did have a open relationship but Darcy never dated anyone else apart from me"

"What about the other things" mom prompts

"I met a few of her lovers and they were all pretty young so that might be true but I'm pretty sure the rumours about the sex dungeons isn't true.

Mom continues to prune her rose bushes, I know she will be furious at who ever gave her the incorrect information. I dread to think how many other people she had told before I married Darcy. I hope she doesn't still gossip about him now.

"If it is I'll not be happy, Darcy's never taken me and he knows how much I like shackles" I add, mom rolls her eyes.

"Your dad and I went swinging once"

"Like swing dancing" I ask, I hope.

Mom shakes her head and I grimace, I really don't need to hear about this. Hearing them having sex is already doing emotional damage, my therapist will earn thousands out of this.

"No one of the parties where men put keys in a bowl"

"I'm so sending you my therapist's bill" even butch looks uncomfortable, he walks away towards the pool and I consider following him.

"We didn't participate obviously it was a huge misunderstanding. Your father heard the words bowl  party and assumed it was a bowling league so he asked if we could join"

"Where was the party held, I've never heard of a swingers meeting in a bowling alley" I really don't know how they could have got mixed up.

"Well that was my first clue, when we turned up at the motel and saw there wasn't a bowling alley I knew he had his wires mixed up. It wasn't until I say Juliette Sommers walking around in her underwear holding a bowl of car keys that I realised"

"Mrs Sommers, she was lead singer in the church choir" I'm stunned. I guess you really can't judge a book by its cover.

"Still is, it was very awkward Sunday morning believe me. Your father still can't look her in the eye".

"Savannah why is that beast in my jacuzzi " mom points to but who is in fact sitting in her jacuzzi like he owns it.

"He looks so happy, why does he look like he's the kink of Connecticut"

Mom tutts "I suppose he is sat rather regally"

Mom smiles , she doesn't make him leave the water like I had expected.

"So what are you doing about that husband of yours, are you going home"

I shake my head, I'm not ready yet.

"Call him at least,he will be out of his mind with worry"

"That's where your right Kathleen, ive been calling everyone looking for her" what is it with him and appearing out of nowhere, it's like he has a beacon that tells him when I'm talking about him.

"You didn't call here, the phone hasn't rang once"  I don't look at him.

"Well this was the last place I expected to find you"

Mom looks annoyed " why this is her home, ofcourse she will come here if her marriage is falling apart"

"You think our marriage is falling apart" he looks hurt.

" I didn't say that, I said we had argued"

"We didn't argue, you argued. I came home from work and you took your bad mood out on me"

"No what happened was I also had been at work all day and I had to come home to those mangy crusty dogs shitting all over the apartment. I do everything for the animals and your happy to let me."

"If it's too much you can leave work, I told you I'm happy for you to not work. You can do all the things you complain you dont have time to do"

Mom frowns, she walks away sensing the impending explosion.

"It's like you dont even know me, I love my job. The last thing I want is to not work and be a lady who lunches"

"What can I do to make you happy" his eyes are brimming with tears, it's clear he's hurting. I hate that I'm the cause of his pain.

"Right now all you can do is hold me"

He wraps me in his arms and holds me close, I feel his nose in my hair.

"I've missed that smell, I don't want another day without you"

"I love you, I don't want to fight " it's true, I just want to be with him.

"The dogs are attending doggy day care from tomorrow, you can drop them off and I'll collect them. I'll pull my weight with them all"

"Butch will need a bath beforehand, I assume he's gonna stink when he gets out of there" he adds gesturing at butch who is now swimming laps in the pool.

"Butch is going too" I had assumed he had only arranged spaces for Elizabeths dogs.

"He's out dog, were all a family right "

It's as powerful as if had just accepted my son as his own, I suppose I need to accept his dogs as family and stop referring to them as Elizabeths.

"Take me home, Ive missed our family"

"Even the crusty dogs" Darcy jokes.

"No but I'm sure in time I'll learn to like them, tolerate them at least"