Broken Knot.

Chapter 46

After a quiet and most awkward 30 minutes of breakfast, they both set their plates aside in the sink. Selena wanted a quiet breakfast, perhaps for both of them to sit there and just think. 

He was afraid to begin, but if he doesn't, she wouldn't take the lead. He was surprised when she did, though.

"So... you cheated on me with your assistant?" She stared at her mug and tapped on the red ceramic as she spoke. Her fingers are always fidgeting with something when she's nervous and he could tell.

"I..." he turned to his wife about to explain himself with excuses, but clearly those days were over. He backtracked a bit for the truth, "Yes."

She swallowed the ball of saliva that was stuck in her throat, just before continuing, "Nick, I want you to tell me everything. Be completely honest with me, please." she pauses, "This is the least you could do."

"I met her at a party and we hooked up, then a couple days later I found out she was my new assistant. When you found out I hooked up with someone you were already pregnant, oh and that time you didn't know it was Olivia," he paused for a minute to take a breath, he looked at her expressionless face that was just waiting for him to continue the story, "So after a bit we were able to rekindle our relationship. But at the same time, I fell for her seduction and I gave in for the sex. Until a while later when I started seeing you depressed, you looked upset almost falling back into your old ways--"

She stopped him there as she was confused, "My old ways? What were my old ways?"

"Uhm... so during that time in our relationship, I usually stay late at work or I'd be with Justin and Ian and the guys, then when I get home I would find you by the couch with the wine and the TV on and you would be passed out on the couch," he explains, each word hammered him hard with a pit of guilt.

"Oh..." she recalls the flashback yesterday where she was crying by the couch, now pieces were finally connecting for her. 

"Yea... uhm... Sel?" he waits for her to look up at him again, "Can I hold your hand while I tell you the rest?"

"Why?"

"I don't know... I'm nervous?"

"I'm giving you a chance to tell me everything truthfully and you're asking to hold my hand?" she sighs, a bit fed up but she somehow had the time to find it cute that he was nervous. Yet again, she had to focus, she was upset at him, "Fine..."

"Thanks," he holds her hand before he continues, "Okay so practically when I tried ending things with her that night you caught me and you were yelling at me for cheating and I was begging you to stay. Then when you turned around to cross the street, you didn't see the car that was coming. Then boom, you were in a coma for almost a month. At the same time Olivia left the city for a while until recently when she found out she was pregnant with my child. Oh and... when I was breaking things off with her, I found out why she sort of stalked me...."

Selena who was calm but close to getting some tears in her eyes, gave him a look to continue.

"Apparently during college when we were on break from our relationship, I got her knocked up and she had to get an abortion... so that was sort of why she came back and sort of ruined my life."

There was a lot going through her mind, for a person who is in recovering from lost memories it is a lot for her to think through. Right now she really didn't care so much as to what happened before, but maybe a little creeped out by this Olivia girl they speak of.

She just wants to know his next move.

"Okay, first off, she didn't ruin your life. You did, you ruined our marriage when you decided to have an affair with her and not speak to me about whatever issue you had, but if that time our marriage was on the rocks I guess I had fault in that too. So I apologize," She counted, "And secondly, she didn't force you. You had a choice of walking out but you stayed and gave her the idea that you are available." 

"I'm sorry..." he apologizes.

"I don't need to hear you apologize, that isn't going to change anything about our relationship Nick," she sighs, frustrated, "W-What's your next step?"

"My next step?" he asks, confused.

"Yes," she answers him, finally meeting him eye-to-eye, "What are you planning to do with Olivia?"

"Well the child is innocent I will try my best to be his or her father when he or she is born, but I don't want to have to give you up for them," he grips onto both of her hands as he speaks, "I only want you Sel."

She was touched by his words, but words are not actions.

"Nick it's great that you want to stay for me, and I understand why you cheated in a way, but I can't hold you back from giving that child a real family," she says, "Look I grew up in a family with a divorced relationship, I know that feeling. There are so much uncertainty as to who might be my next step mother or step father--Oh and travelling back and forth between my mom and my dad just drove me nuts. I never had a stable home. I never got that perfect family where it was simple, just a house, a mom, a dad and perhaps a sibling or a dog. So just go be with Olivia, I don't want your child to have to go through what I've been through."

He watched the woman he loves in tears as she tried so hard to push him away, "You don't understand though, Olivia doesn't want to be with me, she just wants to child to have a father. And this is 21st century there is an uncountable amount of children out there that grew up without a perfect family, you turned out perfectly fine."

"I'm not perfect Nick..."

"You're perfect to me...?" he sounded so vulnerable that moment, but she snaps out of it.

"Anyways, it's not about how perfect your child comes out. You have to care about their feelings, they may not be happy with the new father they get. They could turn out like me, who always feared what type of man will become my father and what if that man ends up hurting my mother."

"Olivia is a smart woman, eventually she'll find her right guy, but it's just not me," he pleads for her again as he tugs on her small hand, "Please don't go."

She pulls away from him to wipe down the tears, "I need time to think Nick, alone." she adds, before she gets off her stool and starts walking upstairs.

He trails behind her but stops at the bottom of the stairs, "I'll be here when you are ready to talk."