The day after

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Miranda's pov

Jason's too shocked. He's sitting on the floor staring wide eyed at his boots. "She saved the boys. Threw her body on top of them in the nick of time." I manage to get out while still staring worriedly at Jason. Tully is racked with sobs. Jason would be too if he wasn't so badly in shock. I stand up and walk over to him. Black streaks on my cheeks from my mascara running from crying. "I'm so sorry Jay." I say, hugging him. He still just sits there. "Kasi's dead." He whispers, closing his eyes. He grits his teeth and starts crying. For the first time, he cries on my shoulder instead of the other way around. He's been so strong for so long for so many people and now we need to be strong for him. He just lost his sister. "Come on hun, you should lay down." I say, grabbing his hand. "I..... I don't think.... I can make it up the stairs." He mumbles, opening his eyes wide again. "Then the couch?" I ask. "No Tully and the boys are gonna sleep there. There's no way I'm letting them go home after this mess." "What do you need me to do?" I ask, getting on my knees in front of him. "N-Nothing. I'm j-just gonna sit here for a while." "Would it help if I bring Cassie?" He shakes his head and brings his knees to his chest. I sigh, fighting back crying. "Come on boys, let's go get something for dinner." They ease off the couch and go to the kitchen without complaint. I call Henry and Danny downstairs. Daniel hollers that he's not hungry but it's silent from Henry. I sigh and walk up there. "Henry, honey, ya wanna talk?" I ask. No reply. I open the door and his room is empty! I run out the room. "Jason, Henry's gone!" I shout, terrified. "What?" He gapes, looking up from his knees. "Henry is gone! He's not in his room!" His mom lowers the tissue from her red tear stained face. "It's okay. He did this a lot while you guys were on tour. He'd run away if he got in trouble or upset but he always came back." I'm still worried but I try to slow my breathing.

Jason's pov

I glance at my mother. I may have lost my sister but she lost her daughter. That would be like me losing Cassie, my baby girl. I get up and hug my mother tightly. I fight back my tears. I have to be strong for the girls and the kids. Oh crud the kids. The twins saw their mother die. I shakily walk into the kitchen. "Hey boys, what are we doin'?" I ask, forcing a smile. "Uncle Jay, you okay?" I sigh and shake my head. "I'm not but I gotta pretend I am. So what do y'all want for dinner?" "I'm not hungry." Ben mutters. I hug both boys. "Come on let's go up to bed. I'm not hungry either." I get them set up with sleeping bags oin Danny's room. I walk into Henry's room where she's probably calling his phone. "Baby, mom says he's fine. Let's go get some sleep." I sit on the edge of our bed, miserable. My little sister is dead. That's the only thing I can think about. I finally force myself to lay down and go to sleep.

*the next day*

In the middle of the night, I had more nightmares then I've ever had. Questions fill my head. Did she suffer? Was it a drunk driver? What caused the accident? Did anyone else get hurt? And so many more. I walk downstairs and my perfect wife is making breakfast while holding a crying Cassie. All four boys sit at the table. "Glad you came home, bud." I say, hugging Henry. "Sorry if I scared you." He says. I walk over and take Cassie. "Thanks." She says. I nod and kiss her cheek then resituate the baby to a more comfortable position. Mom and Tully are still asleep. I hope it stays that way because if mom's asleep she won't have to deal with the situation. "Hey Henry, can you heat up a bottle?" I ask, over the noise of the crying baby. He nods and gets a bottle ready while I try to settle Cassie down. He brings it over. "Can I feed her?" He asks. "Sure." I hand Cassie to him. He sits back down and feeds the bottle to her. I walk back over to Miranda. "He's a great big brother." I say. "So are you, Jay." I stare at the floor. "How ya holding up?" She asks. I shake my head. I'm not. This whole thing is fake. I'm just putting on an act. Inside I'm a mess. But I stay quiet. She hugs me. "How are you holding up?" I ask. "It isn't about me, Jason. She was your sister." "Yeah but I know you're torn up about it too." "I am but I need to put my feelings aside and be there for you. My feelings don't matter." I hold her hands. "Yes they do. You cared about Kasi just as much as me and if you wanna cry you can. I'm the one trying to be strong for you guys." "I miss her so much. She was like the sister I never had. Growing up with just a distant older brother I didn't have that close sisterly bond. Until I met you and then I met her... I just.... It's hard to believe she's gone... That she's been torn away from us... Leaving us as shells of our former selves. I don't know how you're so strong all the time." I don't really know either. I guess you do what you gotta do. I hug her. "It's okay baby. You can talk to me about this anytime you need to." "Kasi was my closest friend." She whimpers, holding my shirt in her fist crying. She drops the spatula and I hold her while she cries. "You go lay down. I've got breakfast covered." I kiss her forehead. "I don't know how you do it, Jason. You're the perfect man." "I'm far from perfect baby." She goes back upstairs.

Miranda's pov

I don't know how he does it. If it was Tully that died, I'd go batshit crazy. I sob in my hands until I can't breathe. I miss her so much. She was the sweetest woman I had ever met. I can't believe she's gone. Poor poor Jason, poor Tully, and gosh poor Debbie. A parent should never outlive their child. I finally fall asleep.

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