Part 116

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After reading Aubrey's letter I dropped down to my knees with tears in my eyes. Her letter said she would be back to talk to me when she was ready. Which meant I wasn't losing her forever. At least not yet. But my heart was still torn. Because even though her word weren't as awful as I expected, I knew all the pain she was feeling when she wrote the letter. All of it because of me. If I would have come home, I wouldn't have run into Chanel and none of this would be happening right now. But I didn't come home, no matter the reason. I did run into Chanel. And now, now I'm here alone, in this big olé empty house. Which felt even larger without Aubrey's presence. But if she needed time. I guess I had to be okay with that. I wiped away my tears and got up. Just as I was gonna do before I found the letter. I poured me a drink and tossed it back. About a bottle and a half later I was back on the ground with tears in my eyes. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. I needed my Aubrey here with me. I needed to hold her. To kiss her. To feel her growing belly with our baby boy inside. I pulled out my phone to call her again. Once again, I got her voicemail, only this time, I didn't hang up. I left her a message. "Aubrey, sweetheart, please come home. I fucked up. But I can explain everything. It's not what you think. Please baby girl, come back to me. I need you Aubrey. I love you. Without you, my life is....it's incomplete." I cried into the phone before letting it fall to the ground. " I love you Aubrey, I love you. I would never hurt you. Never. You're it for me" I said out loud but knowing she couldn't hear me. I no longer used the glass. I drank straight out of the bottle and continued to call out for my wife. I thought if I called her enough she would come back to me. Eventually, I just passed out on the floor of our kitchen with the bottle in hand.

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