Chapter Twenty Two - In which the monster is born

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The grass gently sways in the breeze, the sun shines brilliantly, two of the perfect ingredients for a perfect day. Considering the past few weeks have been riddled with storms, it's a huge relief to finally be allowed outside. Running through the long grass, spending the day lounging around outside all seems much better than being trapped indoors in the prison I call home. 

Laying down on the blanket, I watch the clouds drift across the blue sky, marveling at how my angel answered my prayers so quickly. A small gift in this sea of constant running, checking twice, then thrice over your shoulder, hiding in plain sight. Everyone has used this day to disappear off somewhere, but I don't mind too much. As long as I have him I know I'll be perfectly okay.

My silent protector, always there to carry me when things get rough and make sure my tears don't get wasted on anyone who doesn't deserve it. His brilliant blue eyes always promising me that things are about to get better, something that I definitely hold him to. Recently we just celebrated my fifth birthday, as usual, a cake appeared at our door. Somehow the owls are always able to find me even though we keep moving around. 

Uncle Sev came that day too, we played dress up which everyone found really funny. I told Uncle Sev that since his hair was the longest, he would dress up as the fairy. He didn't like that idea much, but obliged anyways. Father pretended to be a knight, Pibbly was the trusty steed as usual and I dressed as the princess. 

It was perfect. 

But then like all perfect birthdays, it came to an end. Uncle Sev left as quickly as he came, promising that this time he'll be back sooner. He always says that, but every time he makes the vow, he ends up leaving for longer. Father says not to worry about it too much, but I can't help but feel disappointed. Being with Uncle Sev means that I can stay up past my bedtime, he lets me bake cookies and lick the bowl clean afterwards, but most of all, it means father won't have the frown on his face like he usually does. Whatever Uncle Sev does, he makes father magically better, which is a lot more than I can do right now.

I love him.

There isn't another person in the world that I trust more than him. So when he says run, I sprint like my life depends on it. When he tells me to keep quiet, I don't speak a word for days. When he leaves me, I know he'll come back with stories of all the adventures he's been on.

These are dark times my dear Lily, he'll tell me. But don't you worry, light is just round the corner.

This promise of better times, happier memories, of a world where I can just run and be free without having to fear for my life.

I need those moments

I need to feel happy.

Because there's something inside me.

I've tried to tell him so many times, but he replies by telling me not to worry about it. He thinks I don't see the worried look in his eyes or the sigh he gives when I'm sleeping. I see it all. I know he's doing so much to keep us safe. I also know he's hiding something from me. For that I feel horrible.

What can be so bad that he can't tell me? 

Rolling onto my stomach, my eyes narrow at the kitchen door. I wish he would trust me like I trust him. Doesn't he understand that I would anything for him? I would be there for him no matter what. We're all we've got in the world so we have to protect that. Frowning, I listen out for the clink of glasses, but I am met with an eerie silence. He was supposed to go get some water and it's been ages already. Where is he? My heart drops as I fear the worst. Though he tries to hide everything from me, he can't hide the deaths we see as we walk down the streets.

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