Shit, I'm Falling For A Weasley || George Weasley

Chapter 38 - In which I run away for a grand total of 2 hours

*And now that you're here you suddenly fear, you've lost control. Do you like the person you've become? Under the weight of living, you are under the weight of living*

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Do you remember the times when you were young and your biggest problem you'd face is how to spend those 8-10 hours you were awake? Every day a new adventure awaited and you didn't have to worry about anything. Any issue would be easily solved by a shrug of your shoulder or a quick argument that would easily resolve everything. 

Life was so much more simpler. 

"Lily?" Ginny calls, her eyes widening as she sees me staring out of the window. The look that she gave me is a mixture between relief and annoyance. I guess that she hates that she finds me wanting to escape all the time, but what else does she expect? 

I tried leaving as soon as I felt better but it was Snape who stopped me. There's something going on, something bigger than me apparently. Snape says he's trying to protect me, but I've never hated being out of the loop this much. It's killing me. 

"We're just about to sit for dinner, don't you feel hungry?" She asks as I go back to the small armchair and wrap myself with the blanket.

"No, I don't," I mumble and her worried frown deepens. For the past few days I haven't been able to eat much. The food that I am practically forced to eat, I vomit out. It's like my body is rejecting all nutrition or something. I don't know why. Mrs. Weasley suggested going to get checked out but I assured her it was probably just some normal illness. Muggles get sick all the time, so why would it be weird if we got ill too?

But this isn't an illness, I know that for sure.

"I'll eat later," I say when Ginny just stares at me wordlessly. The poor girl has been worried about me ever since I left stony faced from that attic room and my encounter with George. I haven't spoken to him since, we've managed to avoid each other pretty well. It's made everything really awkward for everyone, but there's not much I can do. I'm stuck here. 

"Lily, I- I-" Ginny starts, struggling to find the words. I frown at her, it's not like her to be lost for words.

"I'm so sorry, I feel like this is my fault!" Ginny says suddenly. My eyes widen and I realise just how much this girl must care for me. It scares me. I haven't ever had anyone care for that much and it doesn't help that most of my memories with her are blurry. 

"It's not your fault," I say but she just shakes her head at me.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I just thought if you guys saw each other and the mess you two are in, it would all be fixed." She continues in a hushed voice. 

"I was wrong, I feel like such an idiot. And now I've probably made things worse," she groans and I stare at her for a second not really too sure what to do. Then as I take my hand and lightly pat her on her arm. That's what a best friend would do right? I can almost hear Malfoy scoffing at me. No don't think of him Lily, that brings frustration too.

"It's okay Ginny. You couldn't have known what would happen," I start. "George and I, we're just not at a good place right now and I don't know if we'll ever be okay, but I don't want the past to impact what happens now." I say and a part of me really means it. After this inevitable war is over, I think I'll be ready to reconnect with the people of my past and hopefully remain close to those I've met recently. Is it selfish of me for wanting to keep both my lives? I like the power that being a Fowler gives me, but I also miss the sense of love and security Argent clearly had. It's weird. It's like I'm jealous of the person I used to be.