Shit, I'm Falling For A Weasley || George Weasley

Chapter 55 - In which we go on a hunt for Thomas Blacksmith

Tell me when was the last time you felt like you were one hundred percent sure who you are? Not your identity, that's superficial and easily manifested in anyone's conscious. I mean seriously when was the last time you knew the ins and outs of your own mind? Of your heart?

Consider the following question as an example; if you had the choice between killing one person or killing numerous people, what would you choose? Imagine a situation where you have only a few seconds to decide and as a result of your decision either one person lives or countless souls do. One would hope the choice would be to sacrifice just the one person. Now what if that one person was someone you care about, someone you love, would you still choose to kill them or instead commit mass murder? 

Now add another layer of contemplation. The sacrifice of the one person, the person you love may save a lot of lives, but in the grand scheme of things those lives aren't guaranteed to remain safe. Sacrificing the person you love may be for nothing as those people may all die the next day or the day after that. The point is, you don't have the power to control the safety of the lives of those people, but you do have the power over your love. You can save them, go live long happy lives together, you can watch them grow up and realise their true potential. There is a guarantee of life there. 

But then am I a monster for such thoughts? For believing that saving one soul may be more important? Personally I believe there has to be another choice. There has to be something that you're missing. It cannot be life or death in such extremity. All one needs is time to just think, to breathe and then what should be a  difficult choice won't be impossible anymore.

The sad cruelty of life is that the world is not kind enough to give people time. One cannot ponder all the options. One cannot pause everything to just breathe. There is often no time at all. 

I made a choice today- a terrible choice and the same one outlined above. I chose to save my daughter. But you see the statement is worded in such a way to make me feel better about it all. Choosing my daughter did indeed save her but it did mean possibly the death of thousands. I did not cheat. I do not lie. But at the time of writing this, my daughter is safe, everyone else is safe, I am safe, for now.

Quite frankly I do not care whether everyone lives or dies. All that matters to me is her. She is my everything. So if I had to make the choice again, I would do so without a seconds thought. 

See it is not a choice for me. It never was. I'm probably condemning her to a life without her father, but in all honestly I doubt she'll ever truly be without me. It's a father's role to be there for their daughter, the silent protector, the oncoming storm crashing and raging but then also a soft gentle breeze waltzing, dancing with her allowing her to truly spread her wings and soar. 

I am her father so I have made this choice. One day, I fear she may have to make a similar choice or worse, but I hope she chooses wisely. For a father's love for their daughter is one thing, but anyone and everyone else is an entirely different matter. 

You know what I keep thinking of recently? That time we went to my parent's cottage by the sea and our little girl took her first steps. We were so happy, you almost tripped in your excitement to get a picture. Our poor baby was so scared she started to cry but then I picked her up and told her never to worry, not when I'm around. That feels like a century ago, way back when I felt like I could protect her. Oh how have things changed.

I wish you were here to comfort me, to provide the words that I am truly dying to hear, to hold our baby girl. We have a beautiful angel, so it must be the universe mocking me for taking you on the anniversary of her birth. 

I have condemned everyone, I have chosen to save my little girl, now they will feel the Dark Lord's wrath. But I promise you this, my dear, I will not let him have the opportunity to use her again. I will destroy it. I will destroy the abomination and hide her so that she never has to live life in fear of him. I will protect our little girl.