Shit, I'm Falling For A Weasley || George Weasley

Chapter 27 - Argent vs Fowler (Part 2)

My hands shake as I undo the clasp of the necklace I haven't taken off since I first put it on. It makes a small clinking sound as it hits the table. 

The eyes that stare back in the mirror aren't my own. That girl isn't Lily Argent. Her hair is darker, her face pale and those eyes... those eyes that have no sign of remorse in them. As if there's no guilt for what she's done and what she's about to do. 

But the biggest difference is in her heart. It's empty. There's not a trace of the man she once claimed she loved. No memories of anything beyond friendship. No hint of any kindness or compassion. Nothing holding her back. 

It's time for me to let go. 

That girl is not Lily Argent. That girl is a Fowler. 

***12 HOURS EARLIER***

O.W.L.s. 

If only I could rewind time and find past Lily to tell her that she's crazy for thinking that this was a good reflection as to what school life is all about. I growl in frustration, shutting the Potions book. All around me fifth years are scrambling to get last minute revision done before the weeks of hell start. This is it. Almost at the end of the year. 

Weirdly enough Dumbledore still hasn't approached me about the mission and I'm starting to get worried. What if he doesn't think I'm good enough to do it anymore?

What if he's found someone else to do it? Someone older, more skilled, more... trustworthy. 

No. I am trustworthy. I need to believe that Dumbledore gave me that mission because he felt that I could do it. There's that Quidditch game later- the last escape for everyone before the exams. Honestly I'd rather just skip it, but I feel like it will be my only chance to find Dumbledore and demand that he speaks with me. It would mean having to go watch a Quidditch match without cheering on George, or having him beside me commenting about the lack of skills the new beaters possess. 

I haven't been to any since he left. I just can't bring myself to watch them. It hurts Ginny, I know that but at the same time, it would hurt more for me to go there and pretend everything is okay. 

Shaking my head I grab my bag and rush out of the library. I can't think like that. I can't think about George or Ginny, about hurting them or what they would think, because then I won't have the strength to do what needs to done. 

What exactly is that indeed?

Whatever it is, I know for sure I can't be wasting time reminiscing about the past. It's time to look to the future and move on. It's time to clear the Fowler name once and for all so that I can finally have a go at being who I really want to be. Fowler. I want that connection to my family, now more than ever. After all they were just like me, my father stuck in the same position as I. Having to choose between the family legacy and doing what you think is right. 

I wish he was still alive to guide me and tell me what I should do. I wish my mother was alive so that I could tell her about my feelings towards this boy- whether or not she approves of him would be another story but I'd like to think that she would be accepting. Or she could be stubborn. Who knows? I definitely don't. If I don't have a secure understanding of where I came from, how am I supposed to move forward with myself? 

"Lily?" 

The voice makes me stop. It's been so long since I've gone to speak to him. It's like he's avoiding me or I'm avoiding him. He knows how important this is to me, but he's too cowardly to even consider letting me go. My eyes narrow.

"Professor?" I ask turning to face him. His eyes are dark, not a flicker of fear in them. 

"How have you been?" Snape asks after a pause. I purse my lips together tightly.