Shit, I'm Falling For A Weasley || George Weasley

Chapter 68 - In which the hunt for Thomas Pibbly continues

The sun beams down on my bare legs as I take in what little Vitamin D you can find in this part of the country. For the past few hours, I've found solitude in being alone with just my thoughts and the rest of Malfoy's present to keep me occupied. It's almost hilarious how messed up everything has become and I almost dare the universe to make it worse. 

Being alone has it's perks. Firstly it allows me to avoid George, which makes the living situation a whole lot easier. I could just leave them, but truth be told I'm sick of running away when things get tough. This time I'm staying. Even if meeting George's eyes causes my heart to shatter all over again. 

Secondly, it gives me a second to make a plan. Now that I'm so close to finding the answer to where Thomas is, I'll be able to find the diamond. It terrifies me. What am I supposed to do with it? Dumbledore never really went into the details about how I'm supposed to destroy it. I'm assuming it has something to do with my powers but even that poses it's own problems. It's like since George snuffed out the hope of having a future together, my fire demon has given up. How can I convince myself to be open for love if the one man I've loved decided it's not worth it anymore?

Most importantly, solitude helps me remember, I think trying to distract my thoughts from Ge-

Sighing, I lay on my back, staring at the blue skies.

Don't think about his name.

Don't think about his eyes.

Don't think about him.

Sure brain, like that's easy to do, I muse. 

Shutting my eyes, I let my mind wander back to the matter at hand. I've been getting flashes from memories that I know are mine, but don't remember having. If I concentrate hard enough, I can watch them like movies. Strangely, this started after Malfoy's torture. It must be the mental torture which caused the spell to weaken. 

Either way, I can't help but be fascinated as I get glimpses of a girl who looks so much like me, but entirely different. We're so alike in so many ways. She has the same guarded expression that I see in the mirror, but it's different. Her burden pushes weight on her heart, yet her eyes still twinkle. In comparison, I don't have the same burden, but my eyes have lost the twinkle. It took me a while to register the truth. 

I've forgotten how to be happy. 

Throughout all the pain, I've somehow lost my light. That's what breaks my heart the most. Not the feelings I get as I remember his hand slip into mine in the hallways, nor the laughs shared at the expense of Ron. No... 

The girl I used to be doesn't exist anymore. Her skepticism on everything, her passion to speak up, her ability to make him laugh whenever he was upset. I miss her. 

Even if I managed to get all my memories back, I doubt I'll ever be like her again. She died the moment I took that stupid memory potion and left. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" 

I don't open my eyes, as I point to the pile of notes next to me. 

"Trying to figure out what your dad's clue meant?" Fred asks taking a seat next to me. That's another thing that I've failed to figure out. Yes, the deed was in Thomas' name, but aside from an outdated phone number, we've got nothing to go on. I thought the number could mean a co-ordinate, but unless Thomas' lives in the middle of the Thames, we're back to square one. The current plan is to go back to the house and see if there are any more clues. Agreeing to this wasn't difficult, but I still needed to take a moment to collect my thoughts. That house may be my childhood home, but it's also the place I was tortured by Malfoy.