Shit, I'm Falling For A Weasley || George Weasley

Chapter 54 - In which evEARything falls to pieces

The tears did not even dry on my face when a fresh batch spurts out. Inhaling deeply I can't stop the silent sobs that rack through my body. How often is this going to happen to me? How many more times can I expect myself to be okay after my heart is shattered into a million pieces and more? How is it even possible for me to have this many tears stored in me? 

Day after day, week after week, month after month I keep finding myself in the same position. The one where I'm constantly helplessly bawling my eyes out about how everything is going pear shaped and has been spiraling ever since Dumbledore left me, ever since he left me. 

My fingers tremble as they stroke his once soft silky hair, now clumpy and blood stained. He shifts in his sleep but I barely notice as my eyes move down his face, his beautiful face, scarred with the loss of a limb. This is my fault. I was supposed to be protecting him. I vowed to protect him. But I got distracted just like George predicted I might. 

I'm weak. 

I'm pathetic and weak and it sickens me. 

The bandage, blood soaked, is the only thing keeping him alive at this moment. His face is deathly pale, almost as if he's having a dance with Death and waiting to see if he will be allowed to live another day. My fingers move towards his wrist gently turning them, for what feels like the billionth time tonight, scavenging for any signs of life. After a second or two, I exhale as a faint pulse is detected. 

It's stupid. 

By the time I found the courage to return to the Burrow, he was already sleeping. Mrs. Weasley said he's going to be okay, even Fred became less worried and was able to sleep, but here I am, unable to believe Mrs. Weasley's words and too horrorstruck to move an inch away from him. 

The memories of last night replay in my mind like a broken record each replay more painful than it's predecessor. Each time I get reminded of how close to death he was. How helpless I was in protecting him. How one second he was there and then the next he was barely holding on, already broken, barely breathing. 

It's like a part of me was lost in that moment. I knew going in that there would be risk of someone getting hurt but why did that person have to be my someone? Why is it always George? The tears become so thick that I can barely see. My eyelashes clump together as my fist screws into a tiny ball.

What makes is worse that it was him. He was the one who did it. I watched it all happen. Almost as if everything was in slow motion and once again I was rendered helpless whilst someone I cared about got mercilessly harmed.

***FLASHBACK***

I can see him, I can see my guardian. 

It's dark but I could recognise that silhouette anywhere. That same person was the one who used to check that I was sleeping alright in the night. That same person was the one who would allow me to play with empty vials whilst he worked because he knew I needed the company. That same person was the one who would let me stay at Hogwarts during the holidays and would stay with me because he knew the one reason I didn't like going back was because that house reminded me of everything I had lost. That person was the man who raised me. 

I don't know what it's like to have parents, but it's due to that man that I know what it's like to have family. So when I see him hovering in the air on his broom, it takes everything in me not to utter a curse. If I still had control over my powers, I would be focusing all of my energy on ensure that I don't lose control. 

Because yes, this man gave me everything when I lost it all, but he's also the man who took it away from me. He stole my innocence when he told me to unleash the monster within me all those years ago, he kept me from finding out the truth about my father and allowed me to hate him for most of my life, he refused to let me make my own decisions, he killed someone right in front of me.