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19. cast down.

weird. Going for a holiday with him. I knew this was a bad idea.

Really bad. but lets forget all this .. shonali would be at her place forgetting who the fuck Naina was..

but expecting something from him wasnt the right thing to do..

Let's hope i ignore him well this time.

Because ignoring him would be the rightest thing at the moment.

we finally reached jaipur.. the 8 hour long drive felt like 80 houred.

Next morning i went to see KVs mom in her room so i can tell her what to explain my mom about the short holiday.
She was sitting with an old album in her sofa. Smiling.
She heard me coming and distracted herself from the photographs.

"Sorry to disturb you aunty wo actually ..." I stuttered.
"Ohh its nothing just come. Sit here. I was just going through these old albums. " she stared again at the page she was holding since then. It had a picture of The entire family. A long time ago though. I chose not to speak.
"This was the time when we lived in Nagpur... All together. Look at KV. So chubby. "
Her eyes smiled while talking.
I looked at the gaze she gave on just a single photograph. Seems like it was her favorite. Bad timing though.
"Yeaah you all are looking really nice."
I tried to be low so i didnt sound like a creep that would make her regret on the mushy things she told me.
She smiled and talked to me for sometimes. We talked about our families and stuff.
She paused and then spoke.
"KV isn't that bad, you know... As far as I know him, he doesn't open to many People. But for the one he does, he does it completely and truly. I wish i knew him better."

"You know him better aunty. You're an awesome mother. " i smiled and held her hand.
"Look, whatever it is. Just don't think about that because personally i don't like Shonali and you don't think about her. Be good. "

She looked happy. To talk to me and that made me happy. Really really happy.

But why was i happy talking to KV's mom. I mean thats lame. Why should I feel nice if his mother likes me and hate his next girlfriend. Why do i even care.

I left soon when i realized the moment was getting awkward. I went straight up to Roop's room and thought of packing. After all i just had one and a half day left here. It didnt take that long to pack but all i since I was off in my thought rainbow where the trip was flashbacking and I felt like crying again.
I didnt do dinner that day and slept early. Roop came to check me and I guess she wasn't happy seeing me sleep sad.
"Wake up beeee " her cheerful voice woke me up.
"Good morning Roop. What time is it" I asked sheepishly.
"Its 8am. Now get up."
She took me to breakfast though I tried my best to convince her that it'll be better if i eat in the room.
Went down to the breakfast table and to my amusement nobody was staring at me as I was expecting. Yeah except one.
KV.
His deep eyes gave a piercing look but in a gentle way.
In a soft way.
I got seated away from him. As far as i could. I spoke minimum that day and i could distinctly feel his stare at me when i wasnt looking.

I felt like giving him a threatening look but chose to ignore.

As i finished i went back to the room and while on the stairs i found him following me.

"Hey hey wait. "

I halted. Stood still as if wanted him to talk.

"I know i should have done this before but i didnt get a chance..." I stopped him.

"Yes you did. " he was confused.

"You did get a chance... Twas just, uhh leave it. "

I stormed out of the scene leaving him behind with a few things to think.

feeling like a champion now..

STRONG NAIIINNAAAA ....

The next day was my train back to jabalpur. Everyone except KV came to the station to see me off.
In a way i was disappointed because i sort of expected him. Why. Naina why. I mean first that fellow comes and apologizes and you blow him off like a hydrogen balloon. And when he does exactly what you wanted,now you expect petty things from him.

Bullshit.

But why do i want to see him so badly.
Settling my luggage and thinking he must be on his way. This is stupid okay. He's not coming naina. Not coming.
I left with a drop of tear on my cheek. Why was i behaving so paranoid. Why was i acting crazy for him. What was wrong with me.
I called Akira and vented out every fucking thing going in my mind.
"Naina..this shitt is twisted you know. You cannot just fall in love with that guy" she explained.
"I know i cant. But I cant help it. He showed that he cared. "
"No he didn't. If there was any xyz girl in your place he would have done the same. You're no special. I'm sorry to break this to you like this. "
"Yeaah i know. I was stupid and naive. "
"Now heads up princess. He's not worth the tears you know. "
I talked to her about the trip. And we talked about everything else. That made my mood so much better. I guess i was a typical girl.
The train reached jabalpur and i found my whole family standing waiting for me. Oh i was so glad to see them after a shittload of time.
I hugged everyone and we went home.
"Nainaa. We're so happy you made it. " my mom had this <I'm proud of my daughter> look on her face.
"I made it what. ??" I was still confused.
"We had a talk with Roop's mom yesterday when you were in train, and she told us how good your stay was. She was so happy to have you there. And i heard you and Roop enjoyed a lot !!" She was so excited oh my god no.
"Yeah mom i did. " i wasnt.
"Ohh temme everything sweetie. Did you have fun ? How was Mt. Abu? "
"Mom I'm really tired please can we talk later ?"
"Yeah sure hun."
I went straight to my bed and slept for a day maybe.
I had my phone on airplane mode so nobody could reach me.
Two days and then there would be school. Busy life again! No time to think about him. Yes. Him.
These two days i studied like a scientist kid. Mom dad were shocked. Idk why. I used to study earlier too but not that seriously.
I switched on my phone finally and was kinda hoping a list of messages and missed calls.
His calls maybe?
But guess what i got. Nada.
I waited two days for his call slash text but I didn't get his text.
I got Roop's saying that she misses me and I should get back to studies and everything else..
I had never been so disappointed in my whole life. Not even when my mom gave me a barbie instead of the novels on my birthday..
School started... And my life was so miserable again.. It's amazing how my nobody asked me about my trip bcz heyy ! They didn't even remember..
They were all discussing about how their holidays went.. And I was there listening to everyone.
Whatever.
What did I even have to share..
Nothing. Just few neutral memories.
And ignorance.