Chapter 94: Feelings

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by VanessaStegall

by VanessaStegall

Vanessa's POV:

I'm at the recording studio and a session is going on in room one. I go to the second room and I pour my heart into a song.

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush
What a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much
Just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we could be?
Where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you?
Are you holding back
Like the way you do?
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away
Going away
Somebody sings the next verse
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging,
Spending time, girl, are we just friends?
Is there more? Is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make
This into something that'll last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we could be?
Where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you?
Are you holding back
Like the way you do?
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away
Going away

I finish the song with Jeff.

Why do I keep running from the truth?

All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I've just got to know
Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we could be,
Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love,
Is this real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath,
When I look at you,
Are you holding back,
Like the way I do,
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away,
But I know this crush ain't going away ya ya ya yaaa
this crush ain't going away ya ya ya yaaa
goin' away going away ya ya ya yaaa
when you're all alone
All that we could be,
Where this thing could go
Going away ya ya ya yaaa

After the song is saved, Jeff and I hug.

Jeff's POV:

Vanessa and I stay in the studio. We talk and laugh. I sigh and Vanessa notices.

Vanessa's POV:

I look at Jeff and he tells me that he's fighting with Matt and needed to get away from Cameron. I look at Jeff and he leaves the studio. I'm in room two sad and I sing another song.

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.
Jeff enters the studio and he sits down to hear me sing the chorus of the song.
So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.
I listen to a voice in booth two singing the next verse.
These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized I loved you in the fall.
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.
I open my eyes to see Jeff. He's encouraging me to sing
I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.
We finish the song.
But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.
All the time.

After the song gets saved, Jeff and I leave. We see Ashley walking out of room one and I glare at her.

Ashley's POV:

I look at Vanessa and Jeff with a smug grin on my face.

Vanessa's POV:

Jeff leaves the studio and I record one more song.

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices
Inside my head.
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies.
Just hold me close
Don't patronize.
Don't patronize me.
'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't.
Here in the dark
In these final hours,
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power;
But you won't.
No, you won't.
'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.
I'll close my eyes,
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me.
Morning will come,
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight.
And I will give up this fight.

'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't.
Here in the dark
In these final hours,
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power;
But you won't.
No, you won't.
'Cuz I can't make you love me
If you don't.

After the song gets saved, I leave crying hard.