Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings Imagines

Dwalin ~ Yours 4

All the dwarves now refused to talk to me.

It hadn't taken long for what had been said between Dwalin and I to spread amongst them.

And now, it seemed, I was very much on my own.

Not that I cared, it was, after all, how I prefered it.

That didn't mean I could get rid of the nagging feeling in my stomach every time I looked at the oaf.

Dwalin was the worst, at least the other would occasionally recognise me with a glance, but he just completely ignored me, even after we were thrown into a cell together in Mirkwood.

After our daring escape and convenient rescue by Bard, I found myself under his home, staring blankly into the icy depths of the lake as if it would help my own dismay.

Footsteps approaching disrupted my thought.

I look back to find Thorin watching me.

"Come to scald me further?" I asked, rather rudely. He had been quite angry when he had heard what had happened.

"No," He said. "Although I still have warrant too." He sits next to me by the water, surprising me. "It occurred to me that none of us have even thought to ask you why you feel that way."

I raise an eyebrow at him, having expected this to come from Balin or even one of the other older dwarves, but not from him. "Well, at least I know you won't be a complete fool of a King."

Thorin frowns until he realises I was jesting. "Do you wish to explain it or not Keli?"

I let out a slow breath, staring back at the water. "It's...it's because of my mother. I watched her heart break when my father died, watched as she never quite returned to her old self, and so I swore that I would never become so emotionally dependant on another that my life could barely go on if they died. If that meant I had to renounce my belief in finding my one, then so be it."

Thorin is silent for a moment, taking in my words. "Do you not think that this should have been explained to Dwalin?"

"Probably." I muttered. "In all honesty Thorin, I was mad and upset and...and desperate that I did not think clearly. I let my emotions rule my tongue and that was it, it all went bad from there."

Thorin watches me closely. "So fix it."

"Oh yes? And how do you suppose I do that when he won't even so much as look at me?" I then shook my head. "Besides, even fixing it...I...I would be admitting his words were true, thus still leaving me in the same predicament."

"But it is true, isn't it?" Thorin asked gently. "In all honesty, you cannot tell me that you've ever fought alongside someone so easily before?"

I stared at my feet now. It was true, I'd been suffering since my argument with Dwalin, but I wasn't sure whether I was willing to admit what that meant yet.

My silence was answer enough for Thorin. "Talk to him Keli. You owe him that much." He pauses, looking back at the stairs. "If you wish, I will tell him to come and speak to you."

"No." I said it a little too quickly, causing Thorin to raise his eyebrow. "Just...give me time Thorin. I need time."

He nods in understanding and returns to his feet, clasping his hand on my shoulder. "Just don't leave it too long."

I nod and wait till his footsteps disappear before returning to staring at the lake, my thoughts now even more of a mess.

Sneaking out to get better weapons hadn't been our best idea, but with a few words, Thorin managed to convince the town of our task and they gave us food, shelter, clothing and weapons until we were ready to depart.