Chosen Boy [7] bxb Bdsm

Twenty One

The reception went on a long time since they had the room for the night.  As usual, the older folks filtered out after a few hours as well as those with children.  That left us crazies behind to really have fun.  It was twilight when I finally pulled into the parking lot and headed upstairs. 

It felt like a dream; my mind couldn't quite comprehend the fact that Greg was standing next to my door.  His hair wasn't crazy but he looked absolutely exhausted. One was an easier fix than the other. My brain was trying to make sense of his presence or figure out why and it came up with nothing.  "Sir?"

"Hello Chris."

"How long have you been here?"

He checked his watch.  "Six hours and 22 minutes.  However I went to dinner which took approximately 35 of those."

"You've been here all day?!?  Um, do you want to come in?"

"Yes."

Unlocking the door gave me something to do at least.  I was in a daze as I walked in, hanging my jacket and pulling my tie from my pocket.  "Why didn't you just call?"

"I didn't feel I had the right to interrupt."

Maybe he didn't but that never seemed to have stopped him before.  "Why didn't you just come?  I mean... I guess those don't go together.  You had the time to start with.  Forget it."  He followed me in, then stood at the door.  "You've been standing there for six hours?"

"No, I sat for much of it."

I almost laughed.  Of course he had.  "Okay Sir, why are you here?"

"I thought we should talk.  I didn't want this to wait a week."

"Wait, did you come over here straight from Kevin's?"

"No, I got gas and a coffee and then came over.  You seem rather fixated with the details of my arrival."

He was so infuriating, so exact.  It was such a harsh adjustment after the past several hours.  But he was struggling and he was obviously trying.  I also couldn't overlook the fact that he was here although I still wasn't sure why.  "I'd like to change out of the monkey suit."  I didn't wait for an answer, just headed into my bedroom to put on some pajama bottoms and wash my face and brush my teeth quickly.  I felt much better and ready to face whatever battle might be coming.  I'd needed a few minutes to process his appearance and switch into sub mode.  "Okay Sir, I'm all yours.  What would you like to talk about?"

"Your note.  The entire evening actually.  But not your cooking, that was fine.  The rest was difficult though."

Well at least we agreed.  I sat on the couch.  "Yes it was.  Would you like to come sit down?  It's awkward to talk to you while you're standing over there."

"Very well."  He sat sort of awkwardly, then stared at Wyatt as he came around to sniff out the new visitor.  "Your cat."

"My cat lives here.  You wanted to talk?"  He was so distracted.  It wasn't like him.

"I read your journal entry and seem to owe you yet another apology.  You see, Kevin told me last week that you would be hurt by my decisions and I heard him, I did. But your words were louder.  I hope you had a good time at the wedding."

"I did."

"Good.  You're right, I broke our contract by cancelling on you after you had arrived last Saturday and, in that vein, I should have given you more notice about the wedding as well.  However, breaking my promise to attend was something I didn't want to do and I fought with myself all week about it, right up until you showed up yesterday. Part of me wanted to not be able to say it and have that force my hand and attend. I wanted to do it, for you. But I just couldn't Chris and I'm sorry. The thought of even getting dressed to go sent me into a tailspin. I've been a mess all day even though I had been making progress and if the worry about an event is this bothersome I don't want to imagine the state I would be in if I had gone with you. That isn't an excuse, excuses are useless but you seem to like reasons so there you go."

That was more of an explanation than I ever thought I'd get and now that I'd gone, I knew how hard it would have been on him and therefore on me.  "I get it.  I was disappointed in the situation really, not mad at you Sir.  And once I got there I had a really good time.  It wasn't worth stressing you out about."

He seemed to relax a little.  "Now to the hard part. Why did you turn down your cuffs? You told me several times that you wanted them and I let my filters down one night and you don't wish to be mine? Or do you not realize the severity of your actions? I don't know where you are mentally right now and I can't put you in your place because of my damn shoulder. Explain yourself, please."

"I felt like you haven't wanted to be with me or around me Sir and I wasn't in the right frame of mind to accept them."  There, that was true and hopefully easy to understand.  "And I don't need put in my place Sir, I just need you to want me around."

"I usually do.  I don't know why because it should be easier without you yet somehow when you're there things are okay."

That was probably the sweetest thing he'd ever said to me and I wanted to hold onto it for a second.  I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the feeling.  Eventually though, I had to speak my mind.  "But if you can't use me, sexually, the way you want... then you don't want me around at all and that HURTS Sir, it's... I thought we were more than that."

"Why do you think I don't want you around?"

"Oh, the 'get out' and 'I can't deal with you right now' and 'what would be the point of seeing me' stuff sort of gave me that impression."  That warm feeling in my chest was long gone.

"You're right."

I was?  Holy shit and he accepted that it was wrong?  And said the words?  We were getting somewhere.

"But only about the first two.  My filters were down and I accept that those statements were rude.  However, at the time they were true and I thought you understood me well enough to not take them personally.  As for the last, it was a question.  I had gotten quite used to letting you know when I didn't understand something and asking but lately you have not wanted to help."

"That's not true."

"You told me to 'forget it' when I asked for clarification."

Oh shit, I had.  "I was angry, I'm sorry.  I guess I've been a little stressed out too."

"Yes, I know.  I've been trying to cut you some slack but I need you to get your Dom filter back in place, Pet.  I don't think it's doing you any favors to relax it this way and I would feel less unsettled if you could handle that."

Really?  He was here making demands of me?  It was a valid request and I got it but still... wow, I was in a mood.  "I don't know what you want from me Sir."

"I want you to come spend the night."

WHAT?  Where had that come from?  This must be what getting sucked down a drain feels like; spinning in circles until you get dizzy.  "Why?  What would be the point?"  Part of me was being snippy, most of me wondered how he'd answer.

"I think you need to see me, you seem happier when you do.  It would give us some time this evening and then a break for me to collect my thoughts before breakfast.  I would like to try to get back to normal and I'm having a hard time doing that without you and knowing you're in place."

I was a big enough piece of his life that he couldn't settle unless we were good?  "I'll get my things."