Chosen Boy [7] bxb Bdsm

Twenty Three

*** Um, dirty :)

I couldn't even pretend to be surprised by the blindfold he slipped down over my eyes. I felt myself relax a little more, my weight resting more evenly. It felt amazingly similar to meditating, this purposeful clearing of the mind. I relaxed and waited.

I heard the covers rustle before he spoke. "Hands and knees on the bed." He was right there, his hand on my bicep as he led me over and then I was in position and alone. "Tonight needs to be what you need. I don't want you feeling that I use you for sex even though it is an important part of our contract and we've been over this discussion before."

He'd heard me and that mattered. Also, he was right and this was a common theme with me when I felt unwanted. I couldn't help it though, it's not like I was acting up on purpose or trying to be a bitch. But it was unstoppable, this feeling that sex was all I was good for. It wasn't his fault but our relationship being the way it was didn't really help, either. "I don't know." And then I did. "I..." God, a part of me hated myself and I didn't understand anything but I was going to say it because it was true and I knew he wouldn't judge me. "I need to be yours."

"You are. How do I prove it? What do you need?"

He was exhausted and being so good to me and I didn't know how to organize everything and make a decision. Was what I wanted going to be okay with him? I mean it should be but maybe HE was asking for my permission or approval for something else and had an idea in his mind that I wasn't aware of? I had no idea.

"Stop thinking and tell me what you need." And then his hand was wrapped around my balls and it certainly did help me focus.

"Rough and hard but then I need held and loved. I don't know why, it makes no sense but use me please. Just fuck me into the mattress." It was almost a whisper and I hung my head during my embarrassing speech.

"There's nothing wrong with needing a good fuck and then some care. Is that what you're saying, Pet? Or do you want a little praise kink play?"

"Praise kink Sir?"

"Some people get off on being told how good they are. You certainly seem to enjoy it and maybe you would enjoy a bit more of that tonight. Do you think it would it help with this guilt you seem to be drowning in?"

I hadn't put a word to it, this sinking feeling in my chest. I had felt overwhelmed and helpless and just... yes, drowning. And guilt fit although I didn't know why I felt that way. I didn't really have a reason to feel guilty but I did, this nagging sense that I just wasn't doing things right. "I hope so."

"If the praise doesn't, perhaps this will." His hand made circles on my ass, first one side and then the other before slipping up my back and then down over my thighs. I bucked back towards him before I caught myself, then sighed happily instead. "You miss a few weeks and you forget what you need, how much you like this, that it's okay to be who you are. You're too smart and beautiful to be so forgetful. Why do you fight yourself?"

A smack rang out as his hand came down and then again, both cheeks of my ass on fire. Everything else went away. "Fuck yes Sir, please."

"You may not come until I give you permission. You're such a good boy that shouldn't be a problem, right? I know you can do it." He was gone just a second but it still felt like I barely had time to process before his hand was replaced with the paddle and the softer thud made me moan. He must have approved because it came down a few more times. He wasn't hitting me hard, there was just enough force to make sure I felt it and get my head going in the right direction. He stopped and I whined, I would have taken a hundred. "So damn beautiful. That's my boy, so needy and willing. You're so perfect. I could look at you all day."

Dear lord if this was praise kink he could call it anything he wanted. It was DOING it for me. He often complimented me and I enjoyed it but his tone of voice was sweeter and there was no 'cockslut' or other harsher words to mellow out the sweet. He was going to fuck me, I knew he was. And he would be rough because I'd asked and I needed it and now that need had turned into my entire world and I thought I might actually cry if he didn't take me hard, if he didn't push me to the line. And maybe, if I got really lucky, he'd push me right over.

I'd been working so hard the past few weeks; trying to get my life back in order and help him and just been in control of too much. Even today at the wedding I'd been in charge and I enjoyed it but this giving in? Oh it felt so damn right. He could have all the control right now, I was exhausted. I rested my head on my hands, waiting.

His cock tapped against my entrance and I almost jumped but then pushed back, wanting it. I had to wait though. "Sorry Sir."

"Such a sweet boy. Forgiven." He teased me again and once more. He was halfway in with one thrust and I managed half a breath before he was balls deep and pressing against me, his weight so right against me. "You feel so good Pet, so right. Perfect. Did you need me as much as I needed you?"

"Yes Sir, need." God he hadn't even started thrusting yet and I was losing my mind. And then he was, mercilessly. It was feral and rough and I somehow needed more even though I was overwhelmed.

He leaned on me then, his entire back hard and warm against me and whispered into my ear "Come for me, beautiful" as he found my cock. I'd been frantic from the friction against the bed but his hand pushed me over while he emptied.

I was still reeling from my orgasm but there was an edge, a need that... "Will you paddle me Sir?"

"I'd love to."