Chosen Boy [7] bxb Bdsm

Thirty Nine

I tried my damnedest to give him the best head massage and wash in the history of the world. I was balanced on the tub and the whole thing would have been funny if not for the way his shoulders hunched or the tears that were still escaping. I rinsed the conditioner out and then he just turned and rested on my thigh and I had no hope of not being completely soaked. It was okay, I just wished I hadn't spent so much effort trying to stay dry. "You're going to be okay."

"I hate him!" he hissed, his short nails scraping down his arms.

"Phil?" I confirmed.

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME! Never. No no no." His hand came up to pull at his hair but he just moaned and returned to scratching his biceps.

"Sorry, I won't." I tried to brush the hair out of his face but it was sort of useless and didn't seem to be bothering him. What bothered me was the huge red rub marks around his neck from when the asshole had grabbed him. At least I assumed that's what caused them; I could only hope. "Ollie?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know how to help."

"Master would tell me to pick one thing and fix it. Start with one thing but it's all so fucked up! I can't go out there. I can't face him or life or the sun. It's just too much."

"I could talk to him. Do you want me to tell him about your collar so you don't have to? He's so worried honey. But I'm not sure I should leave you alone, either. Why don't you come with me? He won't hurt you, right?"

"Of course he won't but he'll be hurt and that will KILL me! Oh shit, you're wet. I'm sorry!"

He was SO in his head. I knew the feeling. "Hey, no worries. Can I text Kevin and have him bring us some dry clothes? I won't leave, he can just pass them through the door."

"Don't tell him anything?"

"I won't."

He'd agreed and I'd sent him a text asking for a full set of clothes for Ollie and an extra pair of sweats or shorts for me. He'd been more than happy to and had tapped softly on the door only a few minutes later and given me not only the clothes but a bottle of Gatorade and two granola bars. Ollie didn't want anything to do with the food but he sucked down the drink without me even having to ask. I managed to get us both into dry clothes and hung the wet ones over the curtain rod but wasn't sure where to go from there.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled, finally looking at himself in the still fogged mirror. I'd wiped it but things were still blurry but actually maybe that helped.

"I love your hair but more importantly YOU do. It's yours and you shouldn't let him take it from you. Don't give him that power."

"He shaved it, always."

"Even more reason NOT to cut it honey. Own it, you deserve it."

"I just, I feel like I have to do SOMETHING, anything."

"Then go out with your man and have a good day. Go do something fun. Let him take care of you. Or stay in and watch a movie that makes you cry and eat ice cream, whatever. And I don't mean to make it sound easy; it's not. I'm asking the impossible. But you're stronger than this, Ollie."

"Maybe I just look that way. I thought I was, I thought I... nothing."

"Not nothing. Why is everyone saying that to me today? Tell me, please?"

"You tell yourself, after you do something stupid or get caught up in, well you tell yourself that you're better now, that you'd never do it again. You've learned, right? And then he touched me and I just fell right back, like he still had so much POWER. I didn't even FIGHT him Chris! I just... I just let him because I was too weak to---"

No, this had gone too far. "No honey, you were in shock. You didn't sit there thinking 'oh you know what, this wasn't so bad. Maybe I should just go home with him'! Fear is fucking paralyzing and has nothing to do with how amazing you are. You probably would have been less afraid of a REAL bear or an oncoming train. Of course you didn't do anything -- no one would have. Don't blame yourself for everything, that's my job." I managed a smile. "But, babe? If you want to fight him, fight him now. Get the hell out of this bathroom and be your amazing self. Don't let him win and whatever you do, please don't ask me to cut this gorgeous hair again. He didn't like it? Well screw him, you can have it as long as you want."

"I can't tell Master, I'm so ashamed."

"The collar? I'll tell him. Let him get used to the idea and then you can come out."

"You shouldn't have to do that. It's my fault."

Talking to Kevin? I would have done a hell of a lot more for him right now. "No sweat. I already asked him to bruise you, a collar is nothing."

He didn't laugh even though I'd hoped for maybe a smirk or a smile. A tiny nod was good enough though, I would gladly take it. "It'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back. You could get into bed or go into your room you know."

"I'll stay here."

"Okay. Promise you'll be okay?" I grabbed the scissors just in case he decided to cut his hair while I was gone. "It'll be fine, really."